Defiance
by Heartbeats On A Page
Summary: For Hinata Hyuuga, governing the Hyuuga clan was a responsibility she never wanted. Tired of her overbearing parents, the monotony of clan life, and being idolized by her people, Hinata yearns for something outside the clan walls. So when she meets a certain boy from an enemy clan, Hinata finds herself wandering into adventures she never expected...
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This story will have slight variations from the canon and self-inserts.**

* * *

**Defiance**

_Born into a world manacled by fate_  
_I twist and pull,_  
_but the chain is snug_  
_and I cannot break free._

* * *

_**Prologue**_

From the moment I was born, my whole life had been predetermined for me. I was a Hyuuga, born and bred into the Main Family with the hope to succeed the leadership from my father, Hiaishi Hyuuga, when the time came.

How could I—as a mere babe in my mother's womb—have known that I would inherit one of the most notable clans that Konoha had ever seen?

The answer: I could never have fathomed such a destiny before me, and even now, years after that fateful day of my birth, I still struggle to comprehend the burden that had been bestowed upon me.

My parents had been barren for years after their union. Naturally, this was not an ideal case for the clan itself. The very existence of my clan depended on an heir to the Main Branch—one who would eventually inherit the secrets of the Byakugan and lead the Hyuuga into greater heights than they have ever known.

But fate had its own plans, and it became clear as years went on that I was not scheduled to be born just yet.

The clan grew restless with the need to see that the future of the Hyuuga would be ensured. Without an heir, there was always the lingering possibility that if Hiaishi, the current leader, were to die that a bitter quarrel over leadership would ensue between the Main and Branch families.

Our clan comprised of two divisions: the Main Family and the Branch Family.

The Branch Family existed to protect not only the Main Family, but the secrets of the Byakugan as well. It was their fate—their duty—to defend the Hyuuga from attackers who sought to gain the secrets of our Byakugan.

Those from the Branch Family were fated to die so that those from the Main Family could live; and in return, the Main Family managed the clan and ensured its survival.

Although all of us in the Hyuuga were kin, those from the Branch Family had always been treated as second-class citizens. They had no other purpose but to serve and protect, and thus, they were expendable.

Therefore, you could only imagine the pall of frustration that settled over the Main Family when it became known that the Branch Family had produced their own heir first. The heir to the Branch Family was my cousin, Neji, who would later be branded as the prodigy of the Hyuuga clan.

So after years of failed conception, the desperation of my parents along with the shameful fact that the Branch Family had bested the Main Family in the race of producing an heir, forced them to seek assistance from the village's most revered Goddess, Princess Kaguya.

Following customs and tradition, my parents visited Kaguya's temple on a night when the moon had waned. They prayed incessantly to the Goddess, burned incense and bowed before the golden statue of the divinity. All this they did as they beseeched for fertility and a healthy child.

Their prayers did not fall upon deaf ears, and indeed, Kaguya had been listening intently to their requests. But my parents should have known better than to seek the help of the divine, for Kaguya was a selfish Goddess and rarely acted out favors without any form of compensation.

She appeared before them, an image that was wrought out of thin air. She was like a ghost: translucent and hazy, yet she was beautiful in a way that transcended words. With flowing white hair and a figure that glowed white, she was every inch of what was expected of a deity; and when the Hyuuga couple beheld her image, their eyes burned painfully, and suddenly they were crying tears of blood for mortal eyes were never meant to glance upon the divine.

"Do not try to view me with your eyes, though they may be special eyes, still the Byakugan was not meant to view Gods," the ethereal figure said, her voice was sonorous and sweet. "But enough of that, what is it you seek, White Eyes?"

Hiashi and his wife looked away, if only to staunch the flow of blood-red tears from their white eyes.

"We seek a blessing of fertility, Goddess. We seek a child," Hiaishi said, looking away from the divinity and staring at the floor. "We have been barren for years and our clan needs an heir."

"A child," Kaguya repeated. "I do not care much for children, and quite frankly, my time observing human children in your world has lead me to believe that they are the most detestable of beings. But if that is what you seek, then I will need compensation if I were to grant your wish." The Goddess circled them, but the couple were careful not to look at her directly. They made sure to view her only from the periphery of their vision, and even then, their eyes smarted.

"Anything," Hiashi replied. "We would give anything for a child."

Kaguya halted in her steps and bristled. Her voice rose up a dangerous note. "Do you dare assume that I, who has dined in heaven, tasted ambrosia, and enjoyed a life among the immortals, would _want_ something from the mortal world? No, I do not want anything from this chaos that you call home." Kaguya resumed her steps again, and watched as the couple cowered in fear of her. "Instead, I will agree to grant your wish, but only on my own terms."

But Kaguya was not a kind Goddess either, and she relished in the pain of others. She turned, and placed her hand upon the belly of my mother. "In a fortnight, your womb will be filled with a child."

At the words of the Goddess, a feeling of hope stirred inside Hiashi. But gods were whimsical and selfish. They had lived through centuries and eras of men long past, and the monotony of life itself bored them—and Kaguya was bored. Immortality sucked out the vigor and urgency in life, for there was no purpose of accomplishing anything if there was never a deadline to begin with.

Having indulged in decadence and all that life could offer, Kaguya was insatiable. Nowadays, she rejected dining with the other gods in their palaces, choosing instead to spy on human creatures through her crystal ball to ease her boredom. She quickly found that she enjoyed watching the sufferings of these humans. Each time she watched them she saw new things that amazed her: jealousy, anger, love and passion. These were things that the gods had forgotten after years and years of longevity.

But still Kaguya was as insatiable as she was cruel. A thought suddenly occurred to her. "You choose bargain with gods, so you must pay the price."

"Anything, we would give you anything you—"

Out of all the things she had seen in the world, human love was the cruelest of them all. Love made people do strange things that she could not understand: couples killing themselves because they could not be together, or mothers sacrificing their lives so that their children might live. Love was everything, from cruel to kind and all the shades under the sun. But most of all, to Kaguya, love was extremely entertaining to watch.

"You will not give anything to me, instead, I will give something to you. To your child." Kaguya kissed her hand and placed it on the belly of the mortal woman. There was a glowing imprint on Kaguya's skin in the perfect shape of a pair of lips. "A kiss, so that your child may love fiercely. So much so that love will doom her."

"A _curse?_" Hiashi choked at the word. He lifted his eyes from the floor and stared directly at the beautiful image before him. Instantly, his eyes burned and blood flowed in streaks down his cheeks. But he could not stop himself from looking upon the serene features of Kaguya, and he could not stop the flow of words issuing from his mouth. "Please, I beg you to reconsider. We would give anything—anything in order for our child be spared of such a cruel fate."

The mortal man was challenging her with his eyes and Kaguya did not like it. She glowed brighter than before, so bright that Hiashi had to look away from her once more or risk going blind.

At the sound of the Goddesses' decree, my mother wept tears of sorrow.

"This curse _is_ what I want," the Goddess said calmly. All traces of kindness had left her long ago, and what remained in her chest was a hardened heart. Although, Kaguya could be ruthless she was not free from compassion, and the sight of the woman weeping touched her in a way that she had not been touched for many centuries. For the first time in a while, Kaguya felt mercy. "I have seen love in its many forms, and I can assure you that to love is a curse...as well as a gift.

And with that, the Goddess vanished just as quickly as she had appeared.


	2. Chapter 2

**Defiance**

_Once upon time, there lived a girl who dared to fight against her own fate._

* * *

_**16 years later**_.

"Your footwork is lousy, watch it!" Neji ran towards me in a zigzag motion—so fast that my eyes could barely follow him.

In a flash, as if he had teleported, he stood in front of me with his knees bent and ready to lunge forward.

I would be lying if I said that Neji was not intimidating. With his naturally harsh-lined face and activated Byakugan, he was more than intimidating—he was terrifying.

I couldn't help but squeal, but this was no time to be frightened. During our numerous skirmishes, Neji had constantly reminded me that fear, along with doubt, kills. It was that small dose of wisdom that had saved my life during numerous missions, and it was unlikely that I would forget it. Without thinking, I raised my forearm to block his fist from colliding with my stomach, and although I may have stopped the physical contact, I still felt the great emission of chakra from his palms hit me hard.

I leapt back from him, huffing and puffing as I did so. Even though I was at a careful distance away, I kept my hands raised and my palms wide open. When Neji was your opponent, you could never afford to keep your guard down. He exploited your every weakness, no matter how miniscule it was. He didn't earn the nickname _The Genius of the Hyuuga Clan _for nothing.

He watched me carefully, daring me with his white eyes to make the first move.

Attacking Neji in close combat was an exercise in futility and I learned that early on. He specialized in hand-to-hand combat and it was almost impossible to land a direct hit on him. If I wanted to win this skirmish, then I would have to play it smart and be patient.

Almost imperceptibly, I gritted my teeth and reached into the pockets of my sweater to pull out my hidden weapons. Before Neji could comprehend my actions, dozens of shurikens were already flying in his direction.

His eyes widened momentarily, obviously taken aback by such an elementary move that he was not expecting. "Kaiten!" Neji whirled, a circle of wind and chakra repelling the shurikens away from him.

_Now's my chance!_ I thought. I ran towards him without restraint. He was too busy finishing his Kaiten to notice my close proximity. As soon as he completed his last circle, I lunged for him and was suddenly air-born. The wind hit my face and my long, dark blue hair flew behind me.

I concentrated on transferring all my chakra into my palms, all the while feeling a surge of power and adrenaline run through me. This was it. I had finally penetrated through Neji's defense.

Neji looked up at me as he finished his rotation and realized that it was too late to dodge my incoming fist. My right palm curved into his cheek and a spray of blood sputtered from his mouth. But before I could gloat about my achievement, the Neji before me transformed into a piece of wood.

I landed on my haunches, evidently disappointed. "A s-shadow clone?"

The real Neji stood a couple of feet away from me. His eyes were relaxed now and he regarded me calmly. "Quick thinking, Hinata-sama. You are improving."

Coming from Neji, this was a high praise indeed, and I could barely hold back a smile from tugging my lips. Even though I wasn't even able to land a solid punch on him all afternoon, I was still happy that I came close.

I relaxed my eyes as well and moved towards him. Our training was over and I was ready for some much needed rest. Most people don't know this, but using the Byakugan for long periods of time can be taxing on the body. It requires concentration, energy and chakra to even activate it. It's normal for young Hyuuga trainees to endure years of intense mental training before even attempting to activate the Byakugan. But like any Kekkai Genkai, there's a downside: when used too long, the eyes weaken and can eventually succumb to eye-strain.

And that's how my eyes felt right now after hours of sparring with Neji: strained, as if a handful of dust were in them.

"Hinata-sama!" a familiar voice called out from behind us.

I turned around to see Ko, my long-time guardian and caregiver running towards us. He was dressed in his signature dark navy kimono, and only as he grew closer did I see that he had cropped his hair short again. He bowed when he reached me.

A look of confusion must've dawned upon my face for Ko answered promptly, "An emergency clan meeting requires your presence, my lady!" Ko nodded and turned his attention upon Neji. Ever since the Chuunin exams in which Neji had utterly pulverized me, Ko never looked at Neji the same way again. Gone was the admiration from his eyes, and when he looked at Neji, there was always a look of pure distrust clearly written on his face.

When the two made eye-contact, Ko merely nodded—it was a sign of civility rather than an invitation of friendship.

But this was not the time to be aggrandizing trivial matters. I turned my attention back to Ko. "A meeting right now? That's strange." And it was strange. The Hyuuga rarely held clan meetings and when we did, it would always be scheduled in advanced. An abruptly called-upon meeting spoke volumes of the importance of the matters we would be discussing.

And I had a strange presentiment that something had gone awry.


	3. Chapter 3

**Defiance**

_And they cried_  
_Tears of red sorrow trickling down their cheeks _  
_Because fate had been cruel— _  
_Whispering to them of a bleak future_  
_Fraught with imminent doom and sorrow._

* * *

Without further ado, the three of us sprinted in the direction of the common room of the household. Both Neji and Ko flanked my sides.

The common room was the largest room in the Hyuuga complex and it was by far the oldest. Once, a couple of years before I was born, there was a fire that burned down the whole clan spot, leaving only the common room to be untouched. While the rest of the buildings were rebuilt over the years, the common room had remained unscathed—as quaint and antiquated as it had always been.

It was my favorite room to be in. Stepping into the room made me feel like I was transported into a different era. The tatami mat under my feet looked old and worn out, but I always liked to think of the countless generations of my people that had walked upon those green mats.

"Sorry for the delay," Ko announced as we opened the screen door and stepped inside the common room.

At the sound of our arrival, the rest of the clan—comprised of those who were old enough to be present at the meeting—turned to acknowledge us. Walking forward, I felt the weight of dozens of eyes watching me, assessing my every move; and although fully clothed that I was, I felt naked in front of them.

I was never good at hiding my emotions and my discomfort must have shown on my face, for I saw my father's mouth turn down into a straight grim line, his eyelids lowered in reproach. Tacitly, I knew what he was trying to say with that look of his—that look that could've made grown men whimper like petulant children—he was warning me, and I could hear his sonorous voice echo in my head: _Do not show fear. Fear is weakness and those of the Main Family are not weak._

But my father was wrong and everyone in the clan knew it; because _I_ was the sole exception in the Main Family, because _I_ was weak.

I grew extremely self-conscious, but those eyes, those white eyes of my fellow clansmen never wavered in their judgemental gaze and I knew what they were thinking; that damnable question always lingered in the air heavy with contempt and doubt.

Hiashi was getting old and I was the next in line to succeed.

_How could she lead us? So meek in character and subpar in skill, she is not only unfit—but unworthy—to lead the Hyuuga._

And I left it there: letting all those doubts and questions to simmer in the air, unanswered. It wasn't because I didn't have an answer; it was because I was afraid to admit to them, and especially to myself, that maybe—maybe there was some truth to their accusations.

We dispersed. Neji went to the left side of the room to sit down with the rest of the Branch members, while Ko and I took our place near my father. I crossed my legs under my thighs and sat upright.

My father's face was grim and it was obvious that he made an attempt to ignore me. I looked away in shame.

Hiashi raised his hand in the air to silence the discordant chattering in the room. As if he flicked off a switch for volume, the clan members were instantly mollified into silence. Hiashi cleared his throat. "As you all know, the relationship between the Hyuuga and the Uzumaki have been…coated with tension over the years."

_Tension_ was an understatement. Our relationship with the Uzumaki clan—for as long as I can remember—has been nothing but filled with strife and rancor. We were simply too different in more ways than one: our culture, way of life, mannerisms and values were exact opposites. If the Hyuuga clan were water, then the Uzumaki clan was oil, and when poured into the same vial we repelled each other—water and oil simply do not mix.

Our age-old vendetta with each other had been the bane of Konoha, and numerous negotiations, from treaties and ultimatums, had failed.

The rift between our clans started on the day that Konoha became a village. Although all the clans had to sign a treaty of peace, there was always an undercurrent of animosity between Uzumaki and Hyuuga. A spat occurred long before Konoha came to fruition, it occurred between our clans' founding fathers, Hiro of the Hyuuga, and Goro of the Uzumaki.

According to the Hyuuga, Hiro was patrolling the corridors of the clan house at night when a figure, armed with knives and other tools of harm, jumped over the wrought-iron gate. It was obvious to Hiro that the visitor had an intention to kill and in order to prevent a disaster, Hiro aimed one swift blow to the heart and the visitor fell—dead. Kneeling down, Hiro lifted the white mask that covered the figure's face and the image seized him.

It was an Uzumaki shinobi.

The Uzumaki had claimed that they had sent a shinobi of theirs as a sign of goodwill. The messenger was supposed to deliver a missive requesting an alliance between the two clans. But the messenger was now dead, and the Uzumakis were more than angry—they were enraged. They demanded retribution; an eye for an eye, and so they demanded a body. More specifically, they wanted Hiro's.

But the Hyuuga refused, arguing that messengers of good faith do not conceal weapons of malice under their robes. And so the two clans bickered back and forth in vain.

Then, a fortnight after the demise of the messenger, another Uzumaki shinobi infiltrated the Hyuga compounds with a more malevolent intent.

They say that Hiro was lucky that he had been sleeping while his throat was cut and gutted with a blade. They found him the next morning, his young son—my great-great-grandfandfather—had only to step into his father's room once before he let out a bloodcurdling scream. His family was supposed to be consoled with the fact that Hiro's pain was short lived and minimal, but they were not. They grieved for years to come, and even though Hiro's generation of Hyuuga had long-ago passed away, his death became a legacy. A story that young mothers of the clan would tell their children to instill a sense of vengeance in them.

The Hyuuga needed to protect those like Hiro, people of importance within the clan, and to do so required a caste system to be developed. That was how the Branch Family came to exist, forever cursing the the Uzumakis for damning them into a fate of servitude and limitations.

The Uzumakis thought that the act of retribution was necessary, and they foolishly assumed Hiro's death would even out the score, but if anything, the second incident only augmented the ripe friction between the two clans. And so, what started out as an eye for an eye, became a death for a death, and later, vengeance for vengeance.

A never-ending cycle of bloodshed and hate had begun.


	4. Chapter 4

**Defiance**

_Brittle as she was now_  
_there lay a dormant desire in her soul,_  
_that perhaps through time_  
_and as the seasons passed into each other,_  
_she would be strong like her father_  
_and kind like her mother._

* * *

"I have been visited by the Fifth Hokage recently," Hiashi continued, eyes shut in deep contemplation, "and she believes the _tension_ between our two clans is harmful. She wants our two clans to move beyond toleration and make an attempt of friendship with each other."

I swear I could feel my blood thumping in my ears, and I knew I wasn't the only one who was stricken by the news. Looking around me, I saw my kinsmen stir restlessly in their seats and an audible whisper seemed to fill the silence in the air.

The Hokages of the past had vowed to never to interfere with internal clan disputes. So why start now?

"But Hiashi-sama, although we've agreed to be civil with the Uzumakis, it shouldn't mean that we have to _like _them!" One of the younger family members interjected. Shouts of approval erupted from both sides of the room.

The once quiet room had suddenly turned into a cacophony of voices. People were clamoring to voice their opinion on the subject and none of them looked pleased. All around me I saw a common expression: anger.

"An attempt of friendship?" An elder Hyuuga said distastefully. "Like that damned Uzumaki shinobi who purportedly came in _peace_, yet wielded knives and weapons under his robes?" Again, a chorus of approval followed.

When Konoha was formed, there was an alliance signed between all the clans to unify the village. But this alliance was a political move—a pretense of peace and harmony. Even though the alliance had ended the bloodbath of vengeance between the Uzumaki and Hyuuga, our relationship had been sullied by generations of hate. We'd been fighting and murdering each other for generations, and problems like that didn't just go away overnight.

My father looked grave. It wasn't an easy situation to be in and it was only then that I grasped the difficulty of his position. As the head of the family, he was expected to please everyone all the time, and that just wasn't humanly possible.

But unlike me, my father was strong and he never let himself waver in front his clansmen. He was a true leader, strict and adamant. "The Fifth and I have agreed to let a group of Uzumakis to come here as a show of good faith."

"A show of good faith?" The same Hyuuga elder rose sternly to his feet. He looked down at my father with narrowed eyes. "Those were the same words told to us years ago! Hiashi, have you lost your mind? Why not meet them on neutral grounds? Our ancestors—my _grandfather—_would turn over in their graves if they knew about this absurd proposition!"

Despite my support for my father, I couldn't help but agree with the elder. After the murder of Hiro, no Uzumaki had ever stepped foot in the Hyuuga compounds and it seemed almost sacrilegious for them to do so now. I'm a stout believer for peace, but I also believe in respecting tradition and convention, and accepting the proposition would have been like a slap in the face to our ancestors before us.

"I understand your concerns and believe me when I say that it unnerves me as well, but I have no choice. The Fifth is unshakeable with her lofty demands and has given both our clans no other alternative: either we get along or we get out of Konoha."

"You can't be serious?" The shoulders of the Hyuuga elder slackened and he looked defeated. "The Fifth is threatening us with…exile?"

The staccato of voices had once again receded into silence. I looked around and saw Neji, who was normally so composed, with his mouth open and his eyes round with surprise. I knew he wanted to say something and personally, I wanted to say something as well; but it wasn't our place to do so. We were both too young to speak out in these matters so we had to settle for listening instead.

"It seems so. Apparently, she feels that the tension between our two clans is insufferable."

And it was true. Although we hadn't shed each other's blood for years, the enmity between our clans ran high. Whether it was through an exchange of dirty looks when we saw each other in the streets, our encounters were never pleasant. The student-aged shinobis of our clans fought against each other in school, always seeking to best each other in academics and ninjutsu. Our older members refused to be paired up on missions with each other; and during some well-known wars that both clans had participated in, we were both more than happy to let each other die in the hands of the enemy rather than work together.

We may have signed a treaty of peace with each other, but as one of my clansmen said, it didn't mean we had to get along. Without that scrap piece of paper binding us away from each other, I had no doubt that nothing would've stopped our two clans from ripping out each other's throats.

Our tension, as my father had called it, wasn't exclusive. In other words, all of Konoha was affected by our feud. Remaining clans were forced to choose sides when it came to socializing, and it was obvious that it had torn our village into two sides: those who sided with the Hyuuga and those who sided with the Uzumakis.

There were pros and cons for both sides. On one hand, the clans that chose to ally themselves with the Hyuuga did so because they knew that our Byakugan was powerful—rumoured to be one of the three most powerful, if not _the _most powerful among the Kekkai Genkais—on top of that, we were fierce fighters and masters of the art of the Gentle Fist. We dominated in hand-to-hand combat, and our enemies hoped never to fight with us in close range lest they want their internal organs to be utterly pulverized.

But it wasn't like the Uzumaki were incomparable to us. My father and other Hyuuga elders would never admit it, but the Uzumaki clan was a force to reckon with. After all, they had produced the Fourth Hokage, Minato Uzumaki, who had passed away after the Third Shinobi War. Plus, they appealed more to the public—everyone adored them. They lacked the rigid structure and discipline that was so upheld in the Hyuuga clan, and on the few chances that I had to observe them in the village, they seemed laidback and carefree.

I kind of envied them for it.

The Hyuuga elder sat back down, resigned. "When are they coming?"

Beside me, I could feel my father tense. "Tomorrow."


	5. Chapter 5

**Defiance**

_We were invincible._

* * *

When my father dismissed the clan meeting, I almost felt relieved. But the feeling didn't even have a chance to materialize before it was untimely crushed.

"Hinata," My father called out from behind me. "Hold on a minute."

My feet froze mid-walk and I clammed up the way I always do when my father addresses me with that imperious voice of his.

I absolutely hated it.

Hurriedly, my eyes roamed over a sea of black hair before I finally spotted Neji. He was near the door now, almost about to leave himself, but he looked over his shoulder as if I had called his name even though I didn't. Neji and I have been around each other for so long that wordless conversations seemed natural, almost like second nature.

When our eyes locked, he doesn't say anything. In fact, he doesn't give anything away at all. He looked like the way he always does when he knows other people are watching him: perfectly impassive. Neji was always better than me at a lot of things, and putting up a façade was one of them. To a stranger who didn't know him very well, Neji must've looked like the paragon of calmness. With his hands hanging limply by his sides and cool stare, it's easy to fall for that contrived act of his.

But to someone who knew Neji (and by that I mean_, really_ knew him), there are signs, subtle signs, sure, but they were still there if you knew where to look for them. Like for example, the way Neji's fingers curled momentarily under his sleeves or the way his lips parted ever so slightly as if he wanted to say something but couldn't. If you knew Neji well enough, you'd understand that these were signs. Signs of concern.

_Will you be okay?_ His eyes seemed to be asking. To anyone watching him right now, he looked bored, tired almost. But to me, the way his eyes brightened infinitesimally proved otherwise, and I knew instantly that he was more than concerned—he was drop-dead worried.

I tried to smile for him; I really did, because if Neji could fake an act of calmness, then I could surely fake an act of confidence. For a minute, I wanted to tell him that I'd be okay—I wanted to remind him that I had grown up, that I was no longer the cowering little girl that he had to protect all those years ago.

But the worst part about knowing each other so well is that Neji could see through my lies the way I could see through his: easily and without fail.

He was a walking-talking-Hinate-lie-detector.

So instead of trying to fool him, I raised my shoulders imperceptibly in what I hoped appeared to have looked like a nonchalant shrug. _I don't know_, I said. And then I tore my gaze away from him.

I didn't need to see Neji or the other clan members leave to know that I was alone with my father. I only had to listen to the eerie silence and how my breathing seemed to be louder than what it used to be to know for sure.

It was him and I again, alone. Father and daughter. Leader and coward. Strong and weak.

"Hinata, please take a seat." My father crossed his hands on his lap. He looked so calm and indomitable in his loose kimono, and it frightened me.

This time I turned around and looked at the floor. It's hard enough to be in the same room with him, but it's even harder to stare into his eyes. I feel ashamed of myself for admitting this but my father's eyes scared me; they were always so focused, so lifeless, so _unnatural_.

Before I sat seiza-style again I bowed to the floor and extended my hands forward, almost as if I were stretching but not really. Like I said before, besides discipline, respect was highly valued in the Hyuuga and no one was exempt from its rules.

"You may rise."

And I rose because he ordered me to, and I obeyed because I had to.

"You have come of age now, and it's time that you commenced Senbon sparring."

I started to fidget because I couldn't help it, and when he saw this, my father slammed his hand down on the tatami mat from underneath him. The sound startled me so much that I nearly jumped out of my own skin, if that was even possible.

His eyes grew cold once more and I swear that if looks could kill, he could've killed me right then and there with only that hardened stare. "Hinata, what did I tell you about showing weakness?"

I responded automatically, almost like I've been practicing for this all my life, when in truth, I had been. I've repeated this mantra back to him so many times that I don't even have to think when I say it. I was a like a parrot mimicking words without even understanding them. "Weakness is death and only through true strength can we become leaders."

He clicked his tongue in approval. "So why is it—why must you persist in acting…so weak?" He shook his head and my heart fell. "You must have more confidence in yourself, Hinata. And if you cannot manage that, you must at least try to _appear_ confident. The moment you entered this room, you looked like a walking target. We have no room for prey in the predatory clan of the Hyuuga."

"I-I'm sorry," I said, in an attempt to sound confident. But even to me, my words sounded empty and lacked conviction. Instead of sounding confident, it sounded small—meek.

My father sighed, evidently tired of trying to drill into me the courage and strength that was never there, and never would be. I guess there's just a point in your life when you realize the futility in something, and you have to choose between quitting and feeling like a failure or pursuing the fruitless endeavor.

In that moment, I knew what my father had chosen. He'd chosen to quit.

Even though he wanted to give up on me so badly, he couldn't. To the Main Family, I was their first and last chance—I was the only successor. So whether he liked it or not, my father was stuck with me for the long run.

"But I digress. Back to Senbon sparring, I hope you haven't forgotten it." He was still shaking his head again, and I could almost read the thoughts plaguing his mind—the same thoughts that had always plagued him ever since I was born: _Where did I go wrong in raising her?_

He never went wrong. It was me who had gone wrong. I had been born the way I was, which was totally unfit for the expectations of my clan, let alone my parents.

"No, sir." And how could I ever forget? Senbon sparring was a monumental day for the heir of the Main Family. It was supposed to mark my coming-of-age, an indication that I was one step further to my long-awaited leadership. The idea behind Senbon sparring is that once of age, the heir must spar a thousand times before the current head of the family can pass down the secrets of the justsu.

The ritual was supposed to represent one's discipline and dedication to the craft. After all, nothing is begotten out of nothing. Something must always be sacrificed in order for another to be gained.

"Neji will be your sparring partner, and if you are capable of completing the thousand spars" —Here, my father smirked in such a patronizing way that made me go hot all over with insecurity—"then maybe you _are_ worthy enough to learn the arcana of our jutsu."

I lowered my eyes again and clenched my jaw. "If that's all-"

"That's all. You may leave."

And before I could beat him to it, my father was already slamming the sliding door shut, leaving me alone in the darkness to face my inhibitions.

○•○

One of my earliest memories occurred in elementary school. It's one of those memories forever burned in the back of your mind because of something or _someone_ that had been in it. Mine was no exception.

I'd always been shy and a little timid. By nature, I was always like this, and even though I've gotten better at concealing it over the years, I couldn't mask it completely. My shyness was worse when I was younger. I was totally meek and dependent to the point of absurdity.

Despite everything that my father had done to try and "toughen" me up, I was still as brittle as glass. One little drop and I would shatter.

That indelible memory took place on my first day in Ninja School. I remember this period of my life very well because in it, my mother was still alive. As always, I couldn't bear to be separated from my parents and I remember clinging onto my mother's arms as she tried to cajole me to go with Ko.

Everything was so much different back then when she was around. And when she was gone, it seemed like the whole world lost its vibrancy.

I remember her sweet words of comfort; of how she coaxed me and called me soft names that lulled me into a stupor. But most of all, I remember the warmth of her smile; a smile that gave you strength and made you believe that you were capable of the impossible. It was intoxicating—that smile. But it was also dangerous too, because in that smile was a quality that made me feel fearless.

Despite what I've said in the past, sometimes, I think that feeling fear is a good thing. Humans fear for a reason, and the reason was because fear makes us more aware of ourselves and our limitations. Without that, we wouldn't have a chance at survival. Without fear, we'd be recklessly walking into situations that we couldn't handle, and that, ultimately, would've lead to our demise.

Unwittingly, I took Ko's hand and put on a brave face because my mother was watching me, and if I couldn't be brave for myself, I at least wanted to be brave for her.

So when I agreed to go with Ko. I felt bold and rash. I felt like I could handle everything that would come my way even though I couldn't know that for sure. I didn't think about the problems that lay ahead of me. I was intoxicated with _her_ smile and that would ultimately lead to _my_ downfall.

And that's when it started. Call it what you will: abuse, harassment, bullying…label it if you must but to me it was pain all the same. I was an easy target from the start. Like my father had told me countless times before, I was like an injured bird limping around in a lion's den.

"Hinata, where did you get those bruises?" My mother asked me the first time I came home with blue and green spots dotting my arms. We were eating dinner now and I had to swear my sleeveless white tunic my mother had laid out for me the night before.

I fumbled for an excuse. I'd heard a lot of them when I was younger and somehow the standard, _I-fell-down-the-stairs _excuse just didn't appeal to me. "I-I was training," I said, and when the lie tumbled out of my mouth I almost believed it was true. "Ninja School was harder than I expected."

My father stopped sipping his soup and gave me a look of approval. These were the few times in my life in which I actually received such frank praise from him, and I'd always cherish his words for years to come. "I'm glad you're working hard. You know, the path to becoming a shinobi is difficult. It's good to know you're doing your best early on."

My mother smiled. And her smile was infectious, so no matter how bad I felt for lying to them, I smiled as well. Her smile made me believe that everything was going to be all right.

But then again, I underestimated the amount of days there were in the school year and it seemed like my unwarranted affliction would never end.

○•○

"Oi! You there!"

I didn't turn around. I hoped that if I had kept walking, they'd soon lose interest in me and for once, I'd be able to walk home in peace. I still held on to the juvenile notion that if I ignored my problems, then they'd go away.

"As expected from someone in a noble family, they think they're better than everyone else!" I heard the sound of feet shuffle behind me and I felt my legs go numb with dread.

I wanted to run, but I wasn't very fast. I wanted to fight, but I was weak.

One of the boys grabbed me around the waist while the other two grabbed each of my arms, pinning them behind me. I started to cry.

"You think you're better than everyone else because you're from the Hyuuga clan, don't you?" The dark-haired boy asked menacingly. He looked straight into my pale eyes with his. "You're just like that snooty Neji! I don't even see what's so great about your stupid eyes. They look scary, if you ask me."

But I didn't ask him, and I told him this. His accomplices, two other boys who were roughly a head taller than him, laughed. The dark-haired boy's eyes narrowed and his face contorted in an expression of fury. Before I knew it, he was cocking his arm back with his fist aimed for my face.

I closed my eyes and all I saw was darkness; and I was left in a state of _in-between_: a feeling of zen-like calmness when you realize that resistance is futile and that it is much easier to accept fate and let it run its course.

But the pain never came and I was left standing there, completely oblivious to the world and yet so attuned with myself. Suddenly, I felt the pressure pinning my arms back loosen and I suddenly realized that I was swaying in the wind with no restraint.

"You can open your eyes now. Those good-for-nothings are gone, and they won't hurt you any longer, I made sure of that!"

I'll be doomed to forever remember that voice with its rich texture and pleasant sound. It sounded other-worldly to me, comforting yet intimidating.

"They're gone," the voice repeated. "Man, you should've seen the scared looks on their faces when I beat one of 'em to a pulp!"

I opened my eyes and the first thing I saw was a battered fist, and not fist of the dark-haired boy. In fact, the one that I had been staring at so blatantly belonged to blonde-haired boy. When my eyes travelled up his childish body and reached his face, he stared back at me. His hair was ruffled, wild-looking, and sticking out in odd directions; and when I looked closer at his slightly tanned face, I could see fresh cut marks running down one side of his cheeks. But I cut my observations short because that's when I noticed the shape of a goofy smile play upon his lips.

His smile reminded me of my mother's smile: it was intoxicating. It was infectious. It made you believe that you were capable of doing the impossible.

I felt a hazy blush creep over my cheeks. I couldn't control myself, and my heart rate sped up so fast that it felt like I'd have a heart-attack at the tender age of nine-years-old.

He extended his hand towards me as a friendly gesture and I took it. His hands felt warm soft and when they touched mine, an electric shock ran through my body. I wished with all my might for that moment to have lasted forever.

"Hinata, right?" the boy asked.

I was too dumbfounded to respond so instead, I stood there like a frozen statue.

"My name is Naruto. Naruto Uzumaki. I'm pleased to meet your acquaintance!"

On-and-on a chorus chanted in the back of my mind—_Naruto Uzumaki…Uzumaki...Uzumaki!_—snapping me out of my dream-world and pulling me back to the harsh reality.

And that's when I dropped his hand and took a step back.


	6. Chapter 6

**Defiance**

_and I swear to you, I will not yield until my face is etched in your memory and my name is on the tip of your tongue_

* * *

I've never been in love. This much I can attest to being true.

Sure, in my whole sixteen years of existence I've felt butterflies in my stomach when a certain someone walks by, and I do admit that I've had fleeting attractions to random strangers that I encounter on a daily basis. But like any other sane person on Earth, I am a sentient being, and more importantly, I'm at that precarious stage when my hormones are skyrocketing and my physiology changes.

So when I met Naruto Uzumaki, I swore to myself that it was just a phase. I was infatuated—that must be it! Never in a million years would I have imagined myself to be in love.

In the Hyuuga, there is no such thing as love. Only duty and obligation.

My father doesn't ensure my safety or well-being because he loves me; he does so because it is his duty. He does so because it is in his job description as a father, no more and no less.

Growing up, I was made to believe that love was a sin. A weakness.

When I observed my parents' marriage life, I thought it was normal that they slept in separate bedrooms and that the detachment of which they treated each other was expected in all marriages. Only when I went to Ninja School and observed other kids and their parents did I learn that my idea of marriage life had been extremely skewed.

At first, when I watched these other-worldly adults I was mystified by their blatant acts of affection. As a little kid running around the streets of Konoha, couples holding hands and laughing with each other baffled me. I could not, for the life of me, understand what was happening.

As the years rolled along and I saw these acts more often, I began to question the structure of my own family, and the mere things that I had once hushed up and swept under the rug became a pestering issue in the back of my mind. Why did my parents sleep in separate rooms? Why were they so laconic with each other? Why did they never hug, or at least hold hands in front of me? And what was "love" anyways?

From that singular question stemmed even more questions: How _does_ one love anyway? What does it feel like? The list could go on and on and as it did, my curiosity grew with it.

But I was never fated to learn the answers to my question because to love was never an option for me. I had been denied of love in my childhood years and I would continue to forever be denied of love because the Hyuuga forbid it.

My ancestors before me have done everything in their power to limit love and its noxious effects. For as long as I can remember (and probably since the beginning of time), marriages between the Hyuuga have been arranged internally.

Also when I say arranged, I mean more like forced. There's a huge distinction between arranged marriages and forced marriages, with the latter being totally out of the individual's volition. And trust me when I say that's how I felt about the idea of a forced marriage: totally powerless. It's funny how I'd been born in arguably the most auspicious position in the clan—being the successor—only to feel so utterly powerless despite it all.

But there was a point to all this madness. We've found out that if we simply let nature run its course and let our members marry anyone they chose, the Byakugan could be bred out of the line, and that could be quite problematic. There were a few members in the Branch family who had married outsiders—mostly to strengthen our political ties with other clans—and had produced offspring with a fifty-fifty chance of inheriting the Byakugan. Offspring that were born with pale white eyes were raised by the clan, and offspring that had normal eyes were cast away to be raised by some childless couple in Konoha. There was no room for the mundane in the Hyuuga.

To avoid the problems of breeding out the Byakugan, there's a great deal of in-breeding in our clan simply because we've subscribed to the archaic notion of "blood purity." My mother and father, for example, were second cousins.

But there was also the trouble of keeping the line from being "too pure," because that too caused genetic problems as well. Consistently marrying blood relatives took its toll on our family and there have been living proof of Hyuuga kin born with physical deformities, such as a missing arm or leg, because of it. We were careful to introduce a new gene pool by occasionally marrying off lower-ranked family members to outsiders.

With all this in mind, I guess it's pretty obvious why love doesn't exist in the Hyuuga clan. Love doesn't exist simply because it _can't_ exist. For the benefit of the Byakugan's survival, and to ensure the future of a next generation of fine shinobi, forced marriages were a necessary evil.

○•○

Sparring begins and ends like it always does: with me flat on my ass and Neji towering over me in an impressive display of prowess.

Every time I think I come close to landing a punch, Neji never fails to dodge the move, resulting in my unceremonious crash to the ground.

"Ow," I said, massaging my thighs as I got up. I swear I've fallen on my ass so many times that the earth of the Hyuuga training ground was etched with imprints of my butt.

"You always hesitate before you make a move," Neji said, maintaining his stance as he watched me get up. "It's easy to outwit and enemy who isn't sure of themselves."

I guess there was some truth to his observations. Before I complete and an attack, whether it be the Eight-trigrams or just some regular ninjustsu, I find myself vacillating between going for it completely and abandoning it at the same time.

To do, or not to do? That is the question.

I don't know why I do this exactly, but I suspect that it's something along the lines of my lack of confidence. I have this irrational fear that if I commit to something wholly, it might backfire of me or be to my detriment. That's why I usually like to leave things unfinished—it's comforting yet daunting to live in the possibility of either total failure or success.

"Maybe we should take a break," Neji interjected, stopping my thoughts mid-track.

I nod fervently. My hair is plastered to my forehead due to sweat and I'm breathing heavier than usual. I only need to take one look at Neji to know that the afternoon's training session has taken its toll on him physically too. Plus, it doesn't help that the sun seems to be at its peak position today, beating down on us with its rays.

But this was only the start of our miseries. At the pace we were going at now, which was roughly around one-hundred spars per day, Senbon sparring would likely continue for around two more weeks. Two more grueling weeks. It was only the first day and I was already sweating like a pig, a horrible indication for what was to come.

Neji and I bowed to each other and I thanked him for making time for me again. Knowing Neji, he probably juggled around his already packed schedule in order to make some time for me and although he didn't admit it directly, it was probably the most likely scenario.

Before Neji could detain me further with conversation, I dashed towards the women's bath house. Today was not only a special day because it marked the start of the Senbon season, it was also the day that the Uzumaki envoys were due to arrive and I wanted nothing more than to at least look presentable. The way I looked now: disheveled and sweaty, was definitely not how I wanted to be perceived on first glance.

So at the bath house, I made sure to scrub myself squeaky clean, taking care to work through every dirt spot that marred my skin. I might've taken longer than I should have considering that I lavished at the comforting feel of warm water and the steam rising just to hit my face. I thought I deserved a little reward given the hellish afternoon that I'd just endured.

One thing I know for certain is that Neji knows how to fight. My bruises and sore muscles are all the evidence I need to know that for sure.


	7. Chapter 7

**Defiance**

* * *

The clan was restless. That much I could deduce from their stern expressions and grim silence.

Only members hand-picked by my father were present today. The rest had gone off into their housing compounds to tend to the young children and were instructed not to be seen. The idea behind all of this was that we didn't want to overwhelm the Uzumaki envoys with our large numbers since the Fifth had specifically instructed us to be "hospitable," or whatever that meant.

But at the same time, we didn't want our guests to feel _too_ comfortable so the shinobi who were standing around my father were the best of those we had. They were chosen primarily based on their skill and loyalty, so should anything endanger the life of the Main Family, especially my father himself, there would be assistance nearby. Of course, Neji stood nearest to my father. To anyone who didn't know any better, Neji would've looked like the rightful heir to the Hyuuga line. Perhaps since he was the son of Hiashi's twin brother, my uncle, Neji looked like a younger version of Hiashi himself.

Those who were present wore loose fitting robes—which were deceptive in looks. At first glance, it looked as if we were dressed casually in drab kimonos that were a size too big for our lithe frames, when in reality, underneath the bell sleeves were dozens of hidden weapons like shurikens and kunais. We were a clan that didn't specialize in weapon use and would likely only turn to weapons as a last resort, but where the Uzumaki were concerned, there was a saying that one could never be too careful.

"Hiashi, please think about this," a decrepit Hyuuga elder urged, "surely there must be another way…a compromise of some sort?"

My father stood impassively in front of the gates. The wind blew through his hair gently and his hands were stuck inside both of his sleeves. "There is no other way." He closed his eyes.

"If they step inside our complex, our _home_, it would be as if we allowed their presence to defile our lands. Please think of our ancestors, Hiashi…"

"Whatever the case maybe, it is already too late. Either acquiesce to this or face exile, and though the Fifth is of a kinder disposition than the past Hokages, I have no doubt that she is firm with her word."

Even as my father laid down the inescapable ultimatum, all around me, I could still feel my kin bristle with defiance. No one liked the Fifth's command but no one had any grounds to oppose it either. Even Ko, who was usually the most level-headed among all us, looked as if he was silently seething with anger.

"Neji, open the gates," Hiashi ordered. His eyes were narrowed and I knew that beneath the calm veneer he projected, my father was tense. All of us were.

The wrought-iron gate that stood just over ten-feet-tall creaked when Neji pushed them open. Beyond the gates, I saw a dim procession of people a few yards away. It was _them _and there was no doubt about it. Amongst the sea of red-headed people, the Fifth was unmistakably leading in the front.

The sun seemed to be hotter than usual and it beat down on us hard with blazing fury. I'd always felt uncomfortable in the heat and with the sun so hot at the moment, I started sweating imperceptibly. Whether it was because it was so hot or because I was so nervous, I really didn't know.

Most of all, it didn't help with my abysmal mood that I felt sore all over from my earlier training session with Neji. Every step I took sent tremors of pain up my aching muscles and I felt like I was about to topple over from exhaustion.

"It's nice to see you again, Hiashi," The Fifth said brightly when the procession had finally reached our gates.

Hiashi looked over Tsunade's shoulder and watched the handful of Uzumakis standing behind her. "Is this all?"

The envoys stared at him back. Their hair all the same shade of crimson red and eyes varying in nuances of color. They looked so alike yet so different. Though it was clear that they were all cut from the same cloth, they had distinct features that set them apart from one another. The two Uzumaki females in the front were rather short, while their brothers that flanked their sides were abnormally tall.

Scrolls of different sizes were attached to their hips and backs, and it seemed as if both clans had armed themselves in case of a possibility that things go awry.

There were only a handful of them, six or seven envoys at the most, matching our own small retinue exactly. My stomach sagged with disappointment. I was almost sure that a certain blonde-haired boy would be coming as well—not that I eagerly wanted him to be there! But I had a vain hope that he'd accompany his brethren.

"Drop all your weapons," The Fifth barked at all of us. "Don't act as if I can't see the shurikens and kunais tucked conveniently under your sleeves, Hyuuga." At the sound of the accusation, my kin bristled with agitation. "And don't act as if your scrolls are harmless, Uzumaki."

We were caught red-handed. For what seemed like an eternity, no one seemed inclined to comply. Our two clans stood there, immobile, watching each other eagerly as if daring the other to attack first. It became obvious that in order to spur the reluctant clansmen to give up their weapons, the head of each household had to set the example first.

My father and Mito Uzumaki, the current head of her clan, stepped forward with heavy steps.

"I guess it can't be helped," Mito sighed, letting a large scroll drop from her back with a jarring _thump_.

My father took his hands out of his sleeves and closed his eyes. "No, I guess it can't." He shook his sleeves and the sound of a thousand metal weapons crashed onto the floor.

The rest of us followed aptly. The Fifth shook her head when she saw the mountain of secret weapons pile up before her. When it was done, there were two huge stacks of shurikens and kunais, along with scrolls of different sizes balancing on top of each other.

"You'd think that we were heading off for battle…" the Fifth said, shifting her gaze uncomfortably among us.

Nobody laughed at this; maybe because half of us did expect war to break out at some point. It was actually a valid assumption.

"Well? Are we going to be standing here all day? Pray, please lead us somewhere away from this heat, Hiashi," Mito asked, annoyance tinging her tone. "By the looks of it, both of our kin will die of heat exhaustion if not lead off somewhere cool soon."

"As expected, the impertinence of an Uzumaki never fails to show itself."

"What did you say?" Mito eyed my father with a challenging look. Murmurs of dissent began to rise around the envoys around her, some of them voiced out their doubt audibly.

"…it was a bad idea to come here Mito-sama." One of the female envoys said.

A pockmarked man came forward to whisper loudly into Mito's ear, "...the Hyuuga will never change, they thirst for bloodshed, not peace. We should be wise to take heed of what happened to Goro."

Goro: the Uzumaki shinobi that had infiltrated our compounds claiming peace, but had come with knives and other weapons of harm.

"Silence!" Tsunade turned to Hiashi, her face contorted in frustration. "Lead us, Hiashi."

Without a word my father turned on his heel and led the whole procession towards the common room, a long line of people following behind him. None of us wanted to walk in front or behind since it would incapacitate our ability to keep tabs on each other. Instead, we were forced to mix and walk abreast. Without the weight of the kunais in my sleeves I suddenly felt vulnerable and weak. At least with the weapons, I felt some form of assurance that if anything should happen, I could die knowing that I put up a good fight.

We all settled around a small table; the Hyuuga on one side while the Uzumaki occupied the other. Tsunade sat to the side, her feet tucked under her and watching us all with the stern gaze of a hawk. She looked at us as if we were a bunch of raucous children that were unfortunately left under her supervision.

"For generations after the signing of Konoha's treaty, this…petty feud between your two clans has caused palpable tension to rise within our village. The village people can only endure it for so long until they are forced to choose sides. And they've reached their cracking point. At the rate this feud is going, with other clans jumping in and siding with one group or another, it wouldn't take long until the whole village divides itself because of this feud." The Fifth addressed my father and Mito as she spoke. "When your forefathers signed the treaty, they had promised to live harmoniously amongst one another-"

Mito slapped the table in an abrupt manner. "And we are, Hokage-sama. We hadn't slain each other in years…"

The Hokage gave her a look that silenced the red-haired kunoichi. "Refraining from harming each other and living harmoniously are two entirely different things. Yes, it's nice that you've both stopped your senseless murder, but both of your clans are far from peace as it is. In fact, when was the last time you even talked to one another without my interference?"

Again, nobody answered. A sudden memory of a blond-haired boy holding my hand flashed through my mind and I squirmed in discomfort. My face reddened at the thought. If my father or any of my clansmen knew what I had done—to have held hands with the enemy! Well…I didn't dare imagine the unspeakable horrors that would've fallen upon me if they'd known.

Neji cast me a concerned look but I looked away. If I didn't look at him directly, he wouldn't be able to read my mind as easily as it is for him already.

Tsunade's lowered her eyes and hardened her lips. She placed her elbows on the table and propped her chin up on her hands. Our silence spoke volumes and it wasn't the answer she wanted to hear. "I came here today not just for the sake of Konoha as a whole, but for the sake of the Uzumaki and Hyuuga as well. This hate that runs so deep in this feud affects each individual involved, and while the elders of each clan may be too late to save, the younger generation may still be impressionable."

Tsunade's gaze roamed over to me as she continued, "I see the Hyuuga heir is present, but where is the Uzumaki boy?"

Mito gulped visibly and hesitated before speaking, "Naruto is a little preoccupied at the moment…but he'll be coming soon enough."

At the mention of Naruto's name, I couldn't help but sit up a little straighter and tuck my loose hair behind my ears. Neji didn't miss a single beat and he gave me a questioning look. I wasn't like Neji, the ability to compose myself didn't come so naturally and I had always to consciously work at it every day, but when the mention of Naruto's name pops up out of nowhere, it was hard for me not react to it.

"With what?" Hiashi asked, contempt lacing his words. "What could be more important than this at the moment?"

Mito shifted uncomfortably, and the rest of the Uzumaki exchanged awkward looks with one another. "Actually—"

"Sorry I'm late!" a bright voice chirped out.

A patter of feet followed the voice, and since the door was open, I could see a flock of kunais flying in our direction and a figure running towards us.

Everyone stood up abruptly, sending the table crashing to the ground. I fell back and Neji somehow slid in front of me faster than I could blink.

"Stop him!" a man yelled from outside. The man who yelled was a young Hyuuga shinobi. His Byakugan was activated and there was an intent to kill written all over his face.

Whoever the intruder was, they were dangerous enough to provoke my kinsmen into state of frenzy.

"Hinata, stay behind me!" Neji hissed.

Ko rushed to my side and from where I fell back, I could see the veins around my father's eyes tighten as he assumed a fighting stance.

Mito was running forward with her hands flailing behind her, yelling to her subordinates to arrest the intruder. The reason it was taking so long to subdue the intruder was because whoever it was, they were running faster than I ever thought was humanly possible. They circled the Hyuuga courtyard several times in a blur, sending clouds of dust following behind them.

At the sound of Mito's voice, the figure seemed to have slowed, and when the image finally came into focus, Mito gasped.

"Hold your ground!" Tsunade cried over the commotion.

Mito took slow but certain steps towards the figure and placed her shaking hands on either of his elbow. "Naruto…you certainly know how to make a grand entrance don't you?" she said with a weak voice, her breathing intensifying.

I stood up and looked over Neji's shoulder. Sure enough, there was the same boy that had rescued me all those years ago, standing casually in the center of the courtyard. He was smiling awkwardly with his hand rubbing the back of his head.

A rosy blush spread over my cheeks and it felt like I could have passed out right then and there.

My vision started shaking in front of me and it seemed as if I was seeing two of everything. Heat rushed up to my face and I started wobbling precariously.

Ko caught me before I fell. "H-Hinata-sama? Are you all right? Oi, Hinata-sama!"


	8. Chapter 8

**Defiance**

_once upon a time, there lived girl and boy who have yet to have had their happily ever after._

* * *

When I opened my eyes all I saw was a blur of color and heard only the discordant sound of white noise in the background. It took a while, but when I blinked a few times, the images came into focus and the white noise turned into frantic voices mixing together.

Then, my vision filled with a view of familiar faces. I saw lips moving and hands moving back and forth between my eyes as if to test my response.

"…can you hear me, Hinata-sama?" Neji asked.

When I gave a visible nod, Neji looked over his shoulder and yelled something that I didn't catch.

My father's face loomed over me then. "We thought you died," he said, no emotion lined his words. _Why didn't you? You might as well be dead being as meek as you are._

"Thank the heavens," Ko released a breath of relief and the worry lines on his forehead smoothed.

I tried to turn my head around but Neji restrained me, saying something about keeping still while they located a medical-nin.

I brushed off his hands and sat up. "I'm fine. Really, I am." It was bad enough that I fainted but the commotion that everyone was causing around me made it even worse. If it was possible for one to die of embarrassment then I probably would've been the first victim.

A hand brushed my forehead and I flinched at the casual touch.

Suddenly, dangling from a tree above us, a pair of limpid blue eyes stared back at me. Even though he was hanging upside down, Naruto didn't fail to exude this…indescribable aura that totally immobilized me. "Are you sure you don't need a medical-nin, Hinata? Tsunade-baachan is pretty good at healing, or so I've heard."

He was so close that it would've only taken the barest effort to close in on the mere inches separating us. For a moment, I swear I stopped breathing.

"Ara? Your face is really red. Maybe you've got a fever?"

Control yourself, Hinata!

I was rooted to the ground, unable to make a move even if I wanted to.

Neji broke the moment by slapping Naruto's hand away. The two of them started bickering with one another with Naruto gesticulating wildly.

"Naruto." Tsunade pushed him aside sending the young ninja crashing to the ground.

When he got up, Naruto brandished his fist threateningly at the Hokage, but Tsunade barely gave him any notice.

"She seems okay," Tsunade announced after performing some cursory assessments on me.

I was determined to prove to them that I was—indeed—fine, so I stood up as soon as I could and made a show of walking around as if I never fainted at all (and as if everything, from Naruto touching my forehead to my father tacitly telling me that I should've died, was just a silly dream).

My little incident had caused quite an uproar, and I learned that my father blamed the Uzumaki for having something to do with it. The argument that ensued between him and Mito almost caused a full-fledged war had not Tsunade been wise enough to interfere. Needless to say, but the atmosphere was so thick with tension at the moment that I felt like if I had a needle, all I'd have to do was poke the air to burst the bubble of animosity floating around us.

I was holding up well. Once I purposefully emptied my mind of all thoughts of Naruto, I regained a calm composure. It was hard at first, with him being so near, but I tried to ignore him as best that I could.

A sinking feeling settled in the bottom of my stomach. The purpose of this day was to enact peace—to brainstorm a solution to our age-old vendetta—and instead of making the relationship between our clans better, I felt like I had exacerbated it.

I began to believe that there may have been some truth to what my father had said about me.

Maybe I was a hindrance. I mean, I always made things worse for everyone so maybe he was right.

It took another half an hour before everyone settled down and the bickering stopped. Tsunade had to raise her voice several times in order to be heard over Mito and my father. When she managed to get a hold of their attention, she commanded everyone to head back into the common room.

The room seemed smaller and more cramped than before once everyone finally managed to fit themselves in. I was glad that they kept the door open because the breeze was definitely needed on a hot day like this.

Tsunade sat herself on the side of the table as usual. She clapped her hands on her lap before saying, "All right then, if we could just return our attention to our conversation before Naruto caused a riot—"

Naruto whined petulantly. "I did not cause a riot! I was late so I was rushing around the buildings _trying_ to navigate my way through, when some guy ambushed me without hearing me out. It was _self-defense,_ I tell ya!"

Tsunade sighed. She looked resigned and pissed at the same time. How she managed that expression was beyond me. "Speaking of which, why were you even late? Like someone said before, what could've been more important than enacting a peace treaty between two clans, and a war that has spanned through several generations?"

"I-I was," Naruto gulped visibly, his eyes darting around the room. He was looking anywhere but at Tsunade. "I was on a date," he finished lamely.

"A what?"

"A date. You know, the kind where you take a girl out and you—"

"I know what it is!" Tsunade took a deep breath and the room went completely silent. Without any hesitation she cocked her fist back and let it land across Naruto's cheek. "_That_," she said through gritted teeth, "is for your tardiness." Another punch landed on Naruto's face. "And _that_, is for not setting your priorities straight."

Naruto fell back and rubbed his cheek. He didn't look the least bit contrite. "I understand the importance of this meeting but I made other important plans as well! You see, it's taken me years just to convince Sakura-chan to go out with me so—"

"Save it," The Fifth raised her hand to stop any further rebuttals from the boy. "Save it for someone who cares, Naruto."

I didn't dare look at Naruto at that moment, but when I worked up the courage to raise my eyes, my heart fell. The Naruto that I imagined in the back of my mind was always smiling, always jovial, yet when I glanced at him now, he looked far from happy. He looked…forlorn.

I wanted to cheer him up.

I wanted to tell him that I had always watched him…all those years ago, I watched him fail his shadow clone exam, only to try over and over again in vain. I watched him get beaten up by the same bullies he tried to protect me from. I watched him from over the railings, at the Chuunin exams, when he yelled at me and told me to "show Neji that he's wrong!"

_Naruto-kun, I've always watched you._

I don't know why I was drawn to him particularly.

Maybe because of his smile...a smile that reminded me of someone I had lost long ago, a smile that made me believe that the impossible just might be possible—a smile that gave me courage made me believe I could change my fate.

Tsunade shifted in her seat. "Besides, we have dallied long enough in the hot sun and I could really use some refreshments right now."

From where I was, I saw my father whisper something to Ko who nodded and stood up. Ko returned a few minutes later with our finest tea set and strong flavored tea. He poured some drinks for the Uzumaki envoys first, but the red-headed shinobi eyed their cups warily.

"Go on, we're not trying to poison you," Hiashi prodded. As a show of it, he took the steaming cup laid down in front of Mito and took a sip from it himself. "Mmmh. Tasty."

Ko poured Mito another drink and slid it in front of her. This time she drank from it. As if by imitation, everyone took a sip from their own drink as well.

It felt nice having a nice warm drink wash down my throat. No matter what kind of weather it was, I was convinced that hot tea fit any occasion.

To anyone who would've passed by, it was an odd scene to behold. Two fearsome clans who were usually at each other's throats were sipping tea and talking casually? No. That sounded like a delusion made up by the maddest of men.

Yet, that was _exactly _what was happening. I had no explanation for it.

"I highly doubt that both of you could ever get along," Tsunade explained, eyes roaming from one side to the next. Her gaze stopped at Hiashi and Mito. "Could you?"

I could see my father's jaw tense as he tried to bring himself to look at Mito. Mito's eyes widened and she shook her head.

Again, Tsunade sighed. "I suppose not. Your early indoctrination and years and years of bickering will do that to any relationship. As the Inuzuka say, 'You can't teach an old dog new tricks.'"

I begged to differ on that one. Maybe it was true to some extent, but having grown up with Kiba, I'd seen first-hand how Kuromaru, the eldest dog in the clan, was taught a new attack from Kiba himself. Granted, it took longer than usual and as Kiba noted, "More repetition than necessary." But the point was that Kuromaru, despite his old age, _was_ able to learn a new trick. I guess it just depends on the willingness and patience of the individual.

"But like I said, the young ones are still quite impressionable." The Fifth turned to me. "Tell me, Hinata-san, what do you think of the Uzumaki? No, that won't do...let's see, you're Naruto's age mate, right? What do you think of him?"

What do I think of Naruto?

Truth be told, I had a lot to say about him, but I had no intention of revealing my thoughts in front of everyone, least of all, my clansmen! If Neji knew, I had no doubt that Naruto's head would've adorned a spike; and my father…I wasn't sure how he would react, but I had a sickening feeling that he wouldn't be all too happy.

"Uhm…uhm…" I fiddled with my fingers and looked down.

Tsunade leaned in extremely close, closer than I would've liked.

"I-I think he's—" _Control yourself, Hinata!_ "—I don't know what to think about Naruto-kun…"

"Fair enough," Tsunade said, nodding as if my psychobabble made any sense. "It's good that you don't have any solid opinions about him yet. In fact, I think it's damn right advantageous that you don't even care about him at all—"

"Fifth, with all due respect, I fail to see how Hinata's perception of Naruto has to do with anything," Mito interrupted. A murmur of approval seemed to rise up in the crowd.

Even my father, who opposed anything related to an Uzumaki, seemed to agree with Mito's observation. "Nor do I, Fifth."

I didn't dare look at Naruto. I was afraid to behold whatever expression was on his face.

And what would I see had I looked? Disappointment? Anger? Embarrassment? But I couldn't stop myself from looking and once I raised my eyes and met his, I saw something that exceeded my expectations.

When he returned my gaze, his limpid blue eyes and open mouth made him look…curious. I squirmed in my seat. He looked at me as if he was trying to solve a puzzle and _I_ was somehow the troublesome piece in the middle.

"My fellow comrades, it has _everything _to do with our current situation. We've already determined that the elders of the clan are unwilling to change, so if change must happen then it must start with the younger ones first." Here she paused. "It has to start with your children."

"What are you suggesting, Hokage-sama? Hinata is turning seventeen this year, a mere child still," Hiashi interposed.

"I've kept that in mind, and I assure you that I haven't planned anything indecent."

"You've planned something?"

Everyone seemed to pause and lean in now, as if all us were being made privy to some deep, dark secret. It was so silent in the room that I swear I could hear the inhalation and exhalation of breath.

"How would you, Mito and Hiashi, feel to use marriage between your children as a way to unify both clans?"

I tightened my hands into fists on my lap, and heat rushed up to my face.

Mito dropped her cup of tea, and answered almost promptly, "Never."

Hiashi placed his hand under his chin as if mulling over the proposal. It was rather odd. I expected my father to disagree immediately and rant on and on about the importance of blood purity; but he just sat there—totally nonchalant and relaxed.

After a while of silence, Hiashi spoke: "Certainly the Hyuuga have always been endogamous by nature, preferring to marry within our gene pool, but I could see the advantage in such a union. Not only will it end this silly feud between us, but it could also strengthen both our clans with the mixing of our inherent characteristics."

Mito, and the rest of us were positively floored by Hiashi's easy approval. Neji, Ko and I exchanged confused glances between each other. No one knew what Hiashi was thinking. Maybe he wasn't even thinking at all.

It was understood by all that the Byakugan was a fearsome Kekkai Genkai that could see chakra flow and tenketsus, but it was also understood that the Uzumaki possessed large chakra reserves in order to carry out their fuinjutsus. If the offspring of two such users were produced, they could very well be immensely powerful.

But something was wrong. There was a glint in my father's eyes, the same glint he always gets when he was planning something sinister.


	9. Chapter 9

**Defiance**

* * *

I remember the day I turned three-years-old very well. Like any other birthday, it started off innocently enough with the entirety of the clan gathering in the courtyard. My uncle, Hizashi, was still alive back then and I remember him clutching Neji's hand tightly as he led the Branch Family to face off with Hiashi's house.

This was the first time I had seen Neji up close. He was almost one year my senior and already renowned for his prodigious progress in the Gentle fist, so I had imagined him appear more intimidating than he did before me. Instead, I was greeted with the sight of a little boy, only half a head taller with weak and scrawny arms; and when our eyes first met, he gave me a small, encouraging smile. His smile didn't frighten me, in fact, it was warm and kind, but being timid as I was by nature, I hid behind my father's kimono and gave him a shy smile in exchange.

"It's Neji's time, Hizashi," my father had said, his eyes cold as frost.

When I look back at this, I can't help but curl my fists into tight balls as I try to stifle the dread building up inside of me. Neither Neji nor I could've anticipated what would've happened, and sometimes I wish I had. If I had known…then maybe I could've saved Neji of the pain he would later grow up with. Maybe…maybe I could've changed his fate.

But I didn't know. And I didn't save Neji.

So when my father spoke soft words to Hizashi, whilst taking Neji by the hand, I didn't think anything of it. And when Hiashi had lead Neji away from all of us I can't help but remember the image of anguish consuming Hizashi's face while he watched his son march off to his doom.

Later when I heard Neji's cries of pain I had the urge to run to him and see what was happening, but my mother held me back and I waited with the rest of the family until the deed had been done. I remember my mouth drying and my throat becoming coarse with each sob I held back, but most of all I remember the guilt in my heart when I saw Neji emerge from the ritual room with green brand spanning his forehead.

And that's how I felt right now: guilty.

When Tsunade had proposed a marriage to unify our clans, my father agreed all too quickly but Mito had battled it out to the end. I never knew the extent of expletives available in language until Mito hurled them all in lengthy speech. She was furious; with a face red with anger she told us she felt insulted. She said she would never give up Naruto—Minato's only token left in this world after he had died—to a clan she considered to be fiends.

"…Naruto is the only remembrance I have left of my late sister Kushina and her late husband. He is our only heir and deserves more than what the Hyuuga can offer him," Mito said.

What bothered me was not her accusations, in fact it wasn't even Mito at all. What bothered was the look on Naruto's face as he sat silently in the corner, sullen yet calm, as if brooding about the proposal. It wasn't fair to him like it wasn't fair to Neji for others to thrust upon him a fate he never wanted.

It wasn't fair to me as well because all my life I had been taught to avoid Naruto Uzumaki like he was the plague and now fate was taunting me, dangling a possibility of a future with him right in front of my face. Something that had once been so unattainable…something I had once fantasized about in the darkest of the nights was now coming true. Yet truth be told, I didn't feel any satisfaction at all.

Even if the prospect of marriage was palpable it would mean nothing to me if Naruto didn't feel the same way. I didn't love him, and I had no doubt that he also didn't love me…but secretly in my heart I felt the _possibility_ that I may come to love him one day; and I could only hope for him to do the same.

So I was surprised when I saw Naruto lifting his chin from his hand as if reaching an epiphany. He looked over at me with the same curious expression as he did before, yet this time he smiled. Heat rushed up to my face as I realized that I must've been staring at him and he had caught me in the act. I mentally scolded myself.

Naruto tugged the end of Mito's sleeves, stopping her from her mid-rant. "Mito-san, I accept the offer."

Mito clamped her mouth shut in shocked silence, her eyes roving over Naruto's face as if he had sustained a head injury. "What? You don't know what you're saying, child. You can't possibly mean to wed the wench over there." Mito struck her hand out toward me.

"Watch your tone carefully, Mito," Hiashi warned.

But Naruto only nodded once before he turned to look at me. "I accept the offer…if Hinata-chan accepts as well."

At the moment, I felt as if hundreds upon hundreds of eyes turned lock their gaze on me. My voice was caught in my throat and all that kept me from swooning was Naruto's steady gaze. The ends of his lips curled into a small smile as if reassuring me already, telling me that everything would be fine.

I felt a little better but fear still gripped me and it showed as I spoke. "I-It would be my honor," I said demurely.

Mito spat. "Hyuuga honor means nothing." She turned back to Naruto with a tender look, touching his face with both her hands. The way she looked upon him reminded me of the way my own mother once looked upon me: with total tenderness and love. My heart suddenly ached for long ago caresses that would be no more.

Naruto reached up and cradled her hand with his own. "I know who I am and I know my place. If I'm to rule the Uzumaki one day, I must remember my duties towards our people. The first duty is to keep them safe and from harm and if this marriage will prevent war, then I will accept it with open arms. "

Mito bit her lip and dropped her hands. She didn't dare look at the Hyuuga but my father was silently watching her. Whatever it was he was planning, I knew it was working the minute Mito breathed a sigh of resignation and the hands on his lap tightened like bear clamping his mouth shut on a fish.

Mito gave Naruto a final look. "If that is what you want, Naruto, then I will support you. We will support you." The Uzumaki brethren came together in a hearty chorus of assent.

"Then it is settled," Tsunade declared. Beads of sweat had begun to slide down her face. I was glad to know that I wasn't the only one who was feeling the intense heat of the midday.

○•○

"Nine hundred and eighty-seven!" Neji cried out before slashing at me with his arm.

It was night now and darker than I would've liked in the Hyuuga training grounds. Neji came at me once more, and I parried his blows one by one but my endurance was poor and he was moving so fast that even my Byakugan had trouble keeping up with him.

Even though the stressful negotiations of marriage had taken hours on end to discuss, I wasn't free to waltz around or to rest after they were done. It was still Senbon season and there was no excuse in the world that could alleviate me of participation. Even if the world I was ending or the sky suddenly collapsed, I had no doubt that my father would force me to finish the thousand spars to death.

Senbon sparring was a serious ritual for the heir and is viewed as an honor. Once the ritual starts, it cannot be stopped.

Neji ducked and spun himself so as to knock me off my feet but I jumped, sliding back and digging my heel into the earth to stop myself from falling completely. I started breathing heavily again, and wiped my hair blocking my eyes.

When I looked up, Neji glowered above me before hitting the back of my knees and elbows, sending me crashing to ground once more. I cried out in pain, biting my lower lip so as to stifle the moans in my throat. I had fresh bruises all over my body from previous spars and Neji had repeatedly hit the exact same spots over and over again. I had no doubt that I would wake up tomorrow with a body spotted black and blue dots.

"Hinata-sama, what did I tell you about your guard?"

I was on my knees now, breathing in deeply and trying to catch my breath. Each move made me shudder in pain and I flinched as I tried to steady myself upright again. "I-I should always keep up my guard."

From my blurring vision, I saw Neji nod. "But you weren't even looking at me. You were looking at the ground when I attacked. Tell me, Hinata-sama, what use is the image of the earth when you could be staring at your enemy, watching their every move instead?" When I didn't answer, Neji continued, "If this were a real battle you would've been dead by now."

As always, Neji was more than right. If this were a real battle, my corpse would've been battered blue and my blood would've decorated the land. I knew Neji went easy on me but I also knew that real enemies would not be so lenient. There would be people out there who would not hesitate to shed my blood and it was for that reason alone that I so desperately wanted to get better. I wanted to have enough confidence in my abilities so that I could defend myself, and not have people worrying over me all the time. But what I wanted the most was to be strong like my father and like my mother.

"You shouldn't be pushing her so hard." A dark figure came out of the shadows of the trees. Naruto sauntered over casually with a half-bitten apple in one hand.

During the negotiations, Tsunade believed that in order to foster tolerance between our two clans, both Naruto and I should live each other's lifestyle and try to glean something from the experience. Obviously, such a proposal caused an uproar of chaos and the amount of voices shouting over one another was deafening. But like my father said, the Fifth was an adamant woman and the uproar only motivated her further. Tsunade had only to raise her hand to silence the crowd and all of us knew that her will was for us to obey.

So here he was: the boy who sent my heart fluttering for the past nine years was standing right in front of me.

"What we do here is none of your business," Neji said harshly. Despite Neji's callous treatment of Naruto, I knew that my cousin respected the young shinobi no matter how much his words said otherwise. After all, it had been Naruto who had freed him of his invisible manacles all those years ago during the Chuunin exams.

"I was just saying," Naruto continued, eyeing me and Neji almost indifferently. He wore a loose-fitting white tank top and had kept on his orange pants from earlier. Even so, the slightest showing of his skin made me blush and I looked away as if he were scantily clad. "Hinata doesn't look so good."

"That is also not for you to decide." Neji crouched down and took me by the elbows, helping me to my feet. "Hinata-sama, perhaps we should end here for today."

"But…but we're so close to finishing…I-I thought that maybe if I finished tonight—" When my vision started to grow hazy, I knew that Neji was right. I had already fainted once today and I was determined not to let it happen again.

"Would you like me to walk you back?" Neji asked.

It was a rather innocent question, but I bristled at the request. I was turning seventeen in a fortnight and I didn't want to be coddled anymore as if I were a child—especially in front of Naruto. I waved outwards. "No, no need for that. I'll be fine on my own, really." I wobbled onto my feet and gave Neji a faint smile to chase away the doubt on his face.

Neji bowed, still looking a little concerned but he knew that it would be best not to argue with me. "If you say so, my lady."

I watched him turn the corner around a building and when he was out of sight, I collapsed again. I clutched my arm and winced in pain, my whole body felt sore and battered all over. I felt as if bricks had pelted over my arms and legs. A bead of sweat rolled down the side of my face as I fought to catch my breath.

"Oi! Hinata!" I felt warm hands plant themselves on me; one on my back and the other tightly wrapped around my shoulder. "Get a hold of yourself!"

Normally, I would've felt embarrassed had Naruto even been within five feet of me, so with his hands around me, I thought I would die. But I didn't. And to my surprise, not one hint of embarrassment fluttered through me.

Maybe I was starting to build a tolerance towards Naruto. Or maybe I was just in so much pain that I couldn't feel anything else.

"Here, I'll walk you back," Naruto said, helping me to my feet once more. He pulled me to his side and let me lean on him. I was too weak and light headed to refuse.

"T-Thanks," I said looking away, "I'm sorry for being so bothersome."

He shook his head and took small steps to match my own. "Not at all. That was pretty intense…the training, I mean. I've been watching you and Neji go at it for hours on end and I know first-hand that Neji packs good punches."

He'd been watching us? More importantly, he'd been watching for _hours_? If I didn't feel so much pain, I had no doubt that I would be overwhelmed with self-conscious.

We walked in silence for the rest of the way. His hand was firm around my waist as I limped over rocks and sticks on the dirt path. More than once had I tripped or toppled over but Naruto had always caught me. He'd always been there when I needed him.

When we stood in front of the great wooden building that belonged to the Main House, Naruto looked up in awe. Even though it was dark outside, there was enough light from the stars for me to see him admiring the ornate designs carved into the wood. He touched the yin and yang symbol etched deeply into the wood of the door.

"It's our emblem," I informed him. But Naruto merely nodded.

Dropping his hands I could see his face darken. "Listen…I know this isn't easy for you." Bewilderment must've crossed my face because he continued. "Let's be honest. I don't love you…at least not in_ that_ way, and I sure know as hell that you don't love me. This is a political marriage at best, nothing more and nothing less."

Had my throat not been so parched I would've shouted at him to stop. Anger was rising in me. It was true that I didn't love him and it was only normal that he didn't love me as well. After all, we had barely spoken over the years and whenever I did chance upon a conversation with him, Ko intercepted us before anything could materialize. But whatever happened in the past, I was determined to convince him that it would not affect our future together.

Sure, I admired him greatly and maybe had a faint attraction to him, but attraction by itself was not love. The point was that I didn't love him—and he also made it clear that he didn't love me. Still, hearing him say those words were like daggers to my heart.

_This is a political marriage at best, nothing more and nothing less._ In other words, we were both pawns in our respective clans, ignoring ourselves and existing only to serve our people.

"I-I think I should go now," I said quietly, unbidden tears stinging my eyes.

I will not cry. _I will not cry! _I repeated this mantra several times in my head, but it had little to no effect.

Naruto watched me carefully. "Hey? Hinata, are you okay?"

He made a move as if to grab me but I slipped away, like water through finger tips, closing the door behind me before he could get out another word.


	10. Chapter 10

**Defiance**

* * *

The next day, I tried to tell myself that I didn't care. I didn't care if Naruto made it clear he had no intention of furthering our relationship—"at least, not in _that_ way," as he had so eloquently phrased it. He was someone I admired, no more than a role model like Neji was to me. He was still a member of an enemy clan and besides, it wasn't like I even knew him. I didn't even know his favorite color for god's sake! And here I was, already completely besotted by him.

As I kept feeding myself these half-truths, I slowly began to believe it. I would've wholeheartedly convinced myself of this, had not the pain in my chest erupted each time an image of _him_ popped up in my mind; each time that I thought back to what he had said…

_This is a political marriage at best, nothing more and nothing less._

But was it wrong for me to perhaps want _more_? To perhaps live in the possibility that someday we would grow to love each other like the couples that I'd seen in our village?

But then again, maybe love was a delusion. My parents never loved each other more than they were obligated to. Perhaps people in my situation were truly married to duty and honor rather than their husbands and wives.

Like I said before, I've never been in love because love was never necessary in my clan, and some may even argue that it was a hindrance. So maybe, due to my desperation to experience something denied to me, I intensified my feelings of infatuation towards Naruto, and mistook it for love in its most early stages. Looking at it in that way made me hot all over with shame. It wasn't Naruto's fault that he said that he couldn't love me. It was _my_ fault for deluding myself with fantasies that maybe he could grow to love me, and vice versa.

I should appreciate his honesty and his bravery to spill the truth. But why—I asked myself before falling asleep—why did the truth have to hurt _so _much?

When I fell asleep that night, my dreams were incoherent and bizarre: I dreamt of my father yelling at me and my mother, at his side, looking at me with scorn. I dreamt of running through a forest, tripping over gnarled roots of trees and caking myself with mud as my feet pattered the earth. I dreamt of Neji bending over me, holding both sides of my face in a vice grip as he forced me to see the green brand of shame on his forehead.

And then I dreamt of Naruto and myself, children once more, and the times that I had followed him around without his noticing of me. I was like a ghost in my own dream, watching my younger self chase after a young Naruto. I saw myself watching him behind a tree as he trained, failing to produce a simple clone jutsu even after hours of repetition. I followed him until the day turned into night and until the images of the dream blackened, and suddenly there was no more.

When I woke up, I felt light headed and sore all over. I rarely dreamed and when I did, it was always filled with the same nonsensical stuff as before. The elders of Konoha village always said that dreams meant something, that sometimes they were harbingers of omens or goodwill. But I could never interpret my weird dreams so I decided to forget about them as soon as I awoke. It didn't do any good to try to find meaning in utter nonsense; it was a waste of time and energy that I could not afford to spare.

"Hinata-sama." I heard three quick raps on the door. "Hinata-sama, it's Neji, please open up."

I rubbed my eyes and patted down my unruly hair before walking over to the sliding door. I took a deep breath and stared more than I would've liked at the screen divider between Neji and I. The image of Neji in my dream popped up in my mind—the scorn in his eyes and his hands crushing my face whilst forcing me to stare at his brand. I shuddered when I remembered the cold, hard look of contempt in his eyes that was so similar in those of my father's.

Reluctantly, I slid open the door.

"Ko is sick today, so I will be coming to pick you up for our morning meal," Neji said.

I stared up at him. My cousin, even in the early hours of the day, looked impeccable as always. I'd never seen him look less than pristine, and couldn't remember the last time I'd seen him in a dirty shirt or ruffled hair. He was already dressed in the same bell-sleeved white top, and loose-fitting white pants that I was used to seeing. I always thought that his regular outfit was pretty drab but Neji was focused on becoming a great shinobi, so he probably didn't care what he wore anyways.

"Okay, let me just take a quick bath," I said.

From the corner of my eye, I could see Neji blush a little. Don't get me wrong, our relationship is like that of a brother and sister, but the Hyuuga were prudish people, and any implication of what people did behind closed doors was enough to warrant a few awkward silences.

He looked at the ground, making a visible effort to look anywhere but my face. "Uhm, I guess I'll just wait outside until you finish…bathing."

I nodded, saving him the embarrassment of further conversation by closing the door. I guess, I thought comically, there were things in life that made even the formidable Neji Hyuuga go weak in the knees.

My room was on the east wing of the main compound, so I had only to open another sliding door to be greeted with the sight of my personal hot spring. It was small and circular in shape, encased by grey rocks on either side. Bamboos and tufts of grass sprouted from the earth around it. Even standing just a few feet away, the hot steam never failed to hit me in the face and moistening my eyes.

My mother had instructed the spring to be built beside my bedroom as one of my birthday gifts, because she knew I hated going into the shared baths which was always a little dirty from its frequent use.

I laid my folded clothes on the edge, just before the ground met water. Hesitantly, I dipped my toe in to test the temperature and after satisfying myself with the tepidity, I stepped in. I might have taken longer than usual and I felt bad for making Neji wait, but if there was anything that helped me cool down from all the stress in my life, a nice hot bath always did the trick.

I lowered myself until the water hit just below my lip, and closed my eyes. The temperature of the water was just right and I could feel my tense muscles unwinding already. Whilst relaxing, I remembered an odd question that someone had once asked me: "If you could do one thing forever, what would it be?" I couldn't remember the person who had asked me this, and I remember blanking and not answering them at all. But now, I assumed the question was open to multiple interpretations. So if I could go back in time to give an answer, I'd tell them that I would've chosen an eternity of relaxing in a hot bath.

But I didn't have an eternity and then there was Neji who was waiting for me; so no matter how much I wanted to stay longer, to enjoy the pleasure of the warm water against my skin, reason won over in the end and I reluctantly hoisted myself up from the bath.

I dressed hastily. I towelled my wet hair and combed through it until all the tangles were gone. Then I opened my closet and donned on the first thing I saw: a purple and white sweater and blue pants. The final gear I needed were my open-toed shoes, which were over worn and fraying at the ends. I stuffed my feet in them so quick that I almost tripped, in my haste to get dressed as fast as possible.

"I-I'm ready," I announced, as I tumbled out of my room. I was never graceful by nature, always tripping and crashing into things—an attribute that my father scorned and pronounced as "not lady-like." But that was who I am and ungraceful was what I continued to be.

Neji didn't so much as look over at me. He stood up and started to walk, knowing that I would follow behind him like a lost puppy. If I was ungraceful by nature, then Neji was taciturn, he chose his words carefully and never said anything that wasn't necessary. So in order to really understand him, you had to look for the small things. You had to be able to read between the lines.

Even though he was walking in front of me and not saying a word, it didn't mean he was in a bad mood. Most people would interpret it that way, as if Neji were spurning me on purpose. But like I said, you had to read between the lines and learn what he was really saying, but hadn't vocalized. At the moment, all I could deduce was that he was nervous. When Neji didn't look at me, it was either because of embarrassment or because something was bothering.

I could see the stiffness in his shoulders and the rigidity of his expression that he fought hard to keep neutral. All of them were signs that confirmed my deduction: Neji knew something and he didn't want to tell me. He didn't want to tell me because he knew I wouldn't like it.

"Neji, what's wrong?" I asked, stopping mid-track and forcing him to stop as well.

When he realized I stopped, he turned around and looked at the floor. "Nothing is wrong."

I sighed. "I've never been able to fool you, and you've never been able to fool me, so it's pointless to lie."

"How…how did you know?"

"That something was wrong? Well, how do you always know when something is wrong with me?"

He considered this for a moment before he finally raised his eyes off the floor and met my gaze. He pressed his lips together, regarding me carefully. "There's another council meeting today," he said. I nodded, not understanding the implication. He continued, "It's an important meeting so we have to cancel our training today."

"Okay…" I said, still not understanding the tacit gist of what he was saying. "Then what are we waiting for? Let's go?"

"This is a private meeting, with the elders requesting the presence of Hiashi-sama, and…you."

I gaped at him. "What? What does this mean?"

He shrugged. "I was only told to send the message but was never filled in myself."

Whatever it was, I knew it couldn't be any good.


	11. Chapter 11

**Defiance**

* * *

By the time I entered the brightly lit room, the council had already been assembled around a long rectangular table. I looked around and saw the familiar wrinkle-faced elders staring solemnly at an invisible object on the table. My father was seated in the front of the table, elders fanning out all around him. Everyone looked grim and solemn, and if I didn't know any better, I would've thought I walked into a funeral gathering.

I opened the sliding door which creaked loudly to announce my entrance. Despite the sound, no one turned to look at me and I felt a little relieved. I didn't like any kind of attention and the only times I felt the most comfortable with myself was when I blended in with the walls.

"I'm sorry for being so late—" I began, but my father closed his eyes and raised an open palm in the air as if to stop me. I clamped my mouth shut.

I looked around and saw an empty cushion placed beside my father, and assumed a sitting position on it immediately. Around me, the six or so Hyuuga elders searched my face with questioning gazes. I returned each of their gazes defiantly, jutting out my chin and pressing my lips together. I was greeted with multiple pairs of white eyes planting their attention on me, their gazes like a hot metal searing into my skin. For some of the elders, the color of their eyes had faded to such an extent that it seemed their whole eyeball was compose of only sclera.

I still didn't have a clue about what was going to happen and dreaded every moment I was kept in the dark. After a few minutes more of their investigation of me, the elders must've decided I was just a plain, mundane girl, for they tore their gaze away from me abruptly.

My father cleared his throat beside me as if he sensed a signal to start the meeting. "Hinata, we've called a council meeting to discuss your engagement with that…Uzumaki boy," my father said, his words dripping with acid.

"His name is Naruto," I corrected, but my father ignored me.

"Some of the elders who have not come out of their compounds in many months have agreed to join us today." My father nodded to some of the weather-beaten faces in acknowledgement.

I looked at some of them. To my right was old man Hoheto who had long since retired into a convalescing home in Konoha Village. He still visited the clan from time to time, but he was so weak both in the mind and of the body that he was utterly incapable of carrying on his past duties. His skin had tanned brown after years of toiling in the hot sun; he used to till the crops, way back when the Hyuuga actually owned a wheat farm. When he saw me looking at him, he lifted his lips in what I presumed was supposed to be a smile, but instead turned out to be a rictus grin. I bit my lower lip.

Beside old man Hoheto were his two younger sisters, who looked so alike—with their matching long twisting, grey braids and thin lips—that I mistook them frequently for identical twins. I only learned later on that Ayame and Koko were, in fact, only sisters and not twins, with Ayame being the older of the two. I knew the two sisters well because they had cared for me during my infancy and early years.

Being first-time parents, my father and mother often left me in the care of the two, since Ayame and Koko had raised many children of their own. The two sisters told me many stories and folktales that entertained my juvenile fancies; but my father had often criticized them for "soiling" my mind with outlandish tales of gods and goddesses, and of worlds beyond the living. So when I turned seven, my father had seen to it that they had limited access to me and as a result, my interaction with them has been sparse over the years.

I remembered the twins to be of a loving disposition: lavishing me with attention when I was younger. They smiled more back then, too. But when I looked at them now, they stared back at me with dead eyes devoid of recognition. It made me wonder if they were really the same two women who had cradled me with gentle hands, and lulled me to sleep; the women who amazed me with fables of heroes of long past, and scared me with creatures of night to dissuade me from being naughty. But whatever kind of relationship we had before...it was clearly over now.

The other three elders were the recluses of the clan. They preferred to spend their time drinking tea and playing go—a popular board game played mostly by seniors. Besides the fact that they attended council meetings, I rarely saw them at all.

All of the elders present were from the Main Family, and they all looked like it, which was self-entitled and insufferable. There was an aura around all of them that bespoke of years of wisdom, yet at the same time: years of superciliousness. They were summoned to take part in the council meeting because their wisdom and opinions were highly valued. In other words, they were important and worst of all—they knew it.

"Thank you for joining us," Hiashi continued.

Several of the elders nodded but some merely remained stone-faced, and stoic.

It seemed I was the only one in the room who felt a little antsy, rearranging my legs from underneath me to find a more comfortable position. My father cleared his throat once more. "As you all know, my only daughter is the true blood heir to the clan, so you can see how her engagement to the Uzumaki boy can be a little bit troublesome."

I looked askance at my father, bewildered. Wasn't he the one who was all for the engagement in the first place? If he found it so troublesome, why would he even agree to it? Why didn't he raise any objections to it during our meeting with the Hokage? This didn't make any sense; and my mind was scrambling for answer that was not materializing.

"But it won't be troublesome, if we can stay in control. We can use this situation to our advantage. Think of it as a surprise attack." My father placed his elbows on the table and leaned in conspiratorially, lowering his voice all the while. "The Byakugan _must_ stay within the Hyuuga. Knowing that this…Naruto is also the only heir of his clan, the Uzumaki will be demanding an heir from the union."

"Hiashi, Hinata is still too young to be worried about babies and securing an heir. And from what I have heard, this Naruto fellow is a young man as well," old man Hoheto said.

"You never know, I did many a foolish things when I was younger. The youth are often prone to folly and it is better to curb their urges early on before it becomes problematic," said Ayame, or was it Koko? Whoever said it didn't interest me at all anyways.

"I am getting old as well," my father said. As he spoke these words, I looked over at him; and it seemed to me for the first time in my life, I had truly seen how the years had worn him down. Already, I could see streaks of white hair falling to his shoulders, and it struck me as odd to see his once smooth face creasing over with wrinkles. "I am getting old and have only produced one child. The fate of the Main Family will rest with Hinata once I am gone; it will be a heavy burden. Whatever child comes out of the union will most likely inherit the Byakugan, and it is imperative that this child—the next heir—stays within our clan. We cannot let the Uzumaki stake claims on the child as well. Our ancestors have worked hard to keep the secrets of the Byakugan safe from prying hands, and it would be a shame if we were to clumsily drop the torch."

"Then we must dispose of the boy," one of the reclusive elders added. A murmur of approval rippled through the room.

I sat up in a rigid position. No matter how much I wanted to object, I couldn't. It wasn't my place. And even if I did speak out, what good would it do? If anything, it would only spur them forward to continue their plotting. As much as I wanted to flip the table and cause a scene, I reminded myself to keep levelheaded and calm.

I could feel my feet go cold from underneath me as I tightened my hands on my lap. Whatever they decided—whatever they were going to do, I was determined to protect Naruto from harm. _I will keep you safe, Naruto-kun._


	12. Chapter 12

**Defiance**

* * *

Hiashi raised his hand to silence the chattering. "The boy is too much of a nuisance, it is obvious that we must dispose of him. I am sure everyone feels the same way?" My father looked around and smiled as each elder nodded in consent.

His eyes fell on me last. I squirmed in my seat.

"Hinata?" he said, his tone gentle yet his eyes were cold and hard as always.

I knew what he wanted from me: total obedience. He wanted me to act like the obedient little girl I'd been raised to be; the kind that was taught to sit up straight during meals, and to always pay respect to my elders; the kind that said yes to everything _and_ everyone, because independent will was a foreign concept. There was no such thing as dreams or individuality because you did not exist for yourself, you existed for others to use and manipulate.

But I was tired of being a doormat for people to wipe their feet on, and running around like a dog on its hind legs whimpering in supplication. I was tired of suppressing all my feelings inside and pretending like I agreed with all the decisions the council made.

My split-second hesitation cracked the surface of that obedience, and I swear I could almost hear something breaking, like the shattering of an eggshell, inside of me; as if something new was emerging—something terrifying.

"Hinata?" My father repeated. This time his tone was devoid of the feigned warmth he tried so hard to mimic.

_I will protect you, Naruto-kun. _

"I won't comply."

For a moment, no one said a word. My father sat rigid and immobile, and I could see the aghast expressions of the elders around me in my periphery. The twins were holding each other's hands as if for support, and old man Hoheto's lips were rounded in a perfect o-shape.

I expected my father to lash out immediately. I braced myself for a slap across the cheek for my insolence or a verbal onslaught, but none of it happened. In fact, he surprised me the most by doing the oddest thing: he smiled.

Yes, he smiled; but it wasn't exactly a smile.

One edge of his mouth curled up to reveal rows of sharp, gleaming teeth. I could count each one of those razor-edged teeth if I wanted to. He looked vicious and predatory—a wolf smiling at his prey just before attacking.

I hated how my father knew how exactly to play my feelings. Somehow, this silent form of reproach seemed more insidious than a downright slap across the cheek. At least with physical pain, it's instantaneous and often short-lived. Put a bandage on a cut and it heals in a week. Done. Emotional pain isn't so simple. You can't just put a bandage on the heart and expect it to stop bleeding.

I would've chosen the slap across the cheek rather than my father's baleful smile any day. Any day.

"Hinata, I think it's time you've been told the truth."

I tensed. From the corner of my eye, I could see the twins' hands tighten around each other. "The truth about what?"

"The truth about your mother."

"What does mom have anything to do with Naruto?"

"You have no idea." My father paused, as if he were thinking carefully of what he should say next. The eerie smile on his face was gone, and it was replaced with his usual grim expression. "Haven't you ever wondered about your mother's death?"

(Death. The word I hate the most. When I was younger, I always thought that death was an elusive concept. I used to think that death would never happen to me, and that it especially wouldn't happen to my family. I was young. I had my whole life in front of me. And my parents? My parents were strong. To the eyes of a nine-year-old, they were superhumans! Father was a fierce fighter, and mother…mother was too kind to ever be touched by something so ugly as death. Death was never supposed to come knocking on our door.

I was wrong.

It didn't take long for me to learn that death couldn't give two shits whose door he came knocking to. On his black horse, wielding his scythe, death likes to give house calls every once in a while, and maybe one night he was bored, or cruel, or whatever it was, because he came knocking on our door and he took my mother with him.)

"No. And I don't want to know," I said, fighting to maintain my composure. Damn my father for bringing this up. Damn him for playing my emotions like an instrument of his cruelty.

"I have always wondered why you never asked me directly."

I never asked because I knew that the subject of mother was his only weak spot. His Achilles' heel. I knew that he had grieved deeply for her, even if he denied to his tomb; I just knew. Their marriage may not have been passionate or filled with love, but if anything, my father cared for my mother. I just knew.

To this day, I don't know how she died, and I'd like it to remain that way. I'd always had nightmares of her dying through horrible and gruesome ways, and not knowing seemed to ease the pain a little. Sometimes, being kept in the dark is a good thing. Ignorance is bliss, right?

My father lowered his voice. "She was on a mission. Sent to the Hidden Cloud Village to hunt down a missing-nin. She was travelling with two other ninjas, and one of them was an Uzumaki."

I closed my eyes. I tried to shut out my ears. But I could not stop my heart from pounding in my chest in its erratic rhythm. Instead of shutting everything out, my feelings only intensified, and in the heat of the moment, I saw her again: mother, as vivid as a summer's day. It was the first day of school again and she was waving to me, smiling. Smiling that infectious smile.

A pang of longing hit me square in the chest. I wanted to grab my heart and pull it out—anything than to endure another second of pure agony of remembering things past, and things that would never be again.

"On their way through a forest, they were met with brigands. They were outnumbered, almost three to one. When one of their teammates was killed, your mother sought vengeance but she was overpowered and captured. And you know what that Uzumaki ninja did? Guess."

No.

I don't want to know, please.

Please, please, please make it stop. I don't want to know.

"I ordered you to guess, go on," my father said, a little forcefully. His eyes were full of brightness that I had never seen before; it made him look doleful.

"Hiashi, stop it. Can't you see that it's breaking her?" One of the twins interrupted.

But my father scoffed. "She's a Hyuuga, she's unbreakable."

You're wrong. And you of all people should know that. I'm brittle. Like glass, release me from your clutch and I shatter.

"I'll finish it for you: he fled. That's what that Uzumaki ninja did. He fled and let your mother die. Why? Because he was a coward. Because they're all cowards—that whole damnable clan is comprised of a bunch of cravens. Naruto is no exception." He was speaking with such unrestrained fervour that frightened me.

The worst feeling in the world is having your darkest fears confirmed in front of you.


	13. Chapter 13

**Defiance**

_I'll bare you my soul, and let's see if you still have the guts to love me._

* * *

"That's enough, Hiashi."

One of the twins reached over and pulled his sleeve. Hiashi looked down upon the frail old woman and narrowed his eyes. "Enough of what?"

Ayame or Koko—I could never really tell them apart—gave my father a hard look. They may have been old, and they may not have been as vigorous as they had been in the pinnacle of their youths, but they were still as tenacious as I had remembered them. There was no doubt about it.

The other twin took my hand and gave me a reassuring smile before setting her own attention on my father.

I didn't know what to be more surprised about: the fact that I was on the verge of fully learning about my mother's demise, or the fact that one of the twins was holding my hand.

Holding my hand—as in openly _showing affection and comfort_. It was bad enough that I was on the edge of tears, but to have someone hold my hand, no matter how reassuring it was supposed to be, made me feel even more vulnerable and weak than usual.

Was it really that easy for someone to gauge my reaction? Did I really wear my heart on my sleeve as I'd been told many times before?

My father set his mouth straight. "She's lead such a sheltered life so far, and that is something I regret giving her. It's time she was exposed to the cruel realities of life."

"Still, she is a child."

"She's turning seventeen. Almost fully grown."

"She was born with a tender disposition."

"She is the heir to our clan. Tenderness will only lead her to an early death."

At this, the twin speaking fell silent. It unnerved me a bit because what my father had said was true. I couldn't afford to be merciful during dire times that were looming ahead. I couldn't just turn my eyes the other way in the bloodshed of battle. I had to be able to dip my hands in a sea of crimson blood and revel in it.

The Hyuuga needed a leader. Not an insecure teenage girl who wouldn't speak until she was given the permission to.

"I thought we were supposed to refrain from discussing the…unusual circumstances around your wife's death." It was old man Hoheto who spoke now, his murky white eyes travelling across the room before settling on me.

I felt my hackles rise.

When my mother died, there was no funeral. I came home one day expecting the aroma of dinner wafting around the house, and her, my mother, clad in an apron and baking gloves, asking me how my day was. I noticed my father immediately, sitting almost catatonically in the head chair of the dining table, staring aimlessly at an invisible object in front of him.

I remember asking him about mother, about where she was and when she'd come back, and all the questions customary of an elementary student. In response, he gave me a dazed look, as if he saw me but didn't really know if I was part of his hallucination or reality. I took this as a sign that to leave him alone. So I did.

I never asked about her. Not even when the hours turned into days, and the days turned into months, and then soon enough seasons began changing and I would arrive home from school without the familiar aroma of baked goods steaming from the oven.

I didn't ask my father, not because I didn't care about my mother's disappearance—and believe me, I did—but because if anything, I knew that this whole thing pained him.

My father didn't love my mother, but that didn't mean that he didn't care for her in some sort of Hiashi-weird way. She was his one weakness; his Achilles' heel.

No one in the compound spoke about her as well. During the early days of her disappearance, chattering women suddenly fell silent when I came within earshot. Neji avoided my gaze more often than ever (it was the only time in our relationship when I felt completely isolated from him). And my father, from the way he would shoot me furtive glances when he thought I wasn't looking—as if he were assessing me—wiped away any doubt that he was the reason behind the hushed voices and awkward silences.

From the sympathetic looks that my family members gave me to their tight-lipped silences, I knew that my father had instructed them to keep their silence. The topic had become taboo.

It was fine by me, really. When you're young and naïve, you think that if you ignore your problems, they'd go away. As if refusing to acknowledge the harshness of reality would somehow make the bad things disappear. It was by that logic that I never asked about my mother, and everyone was more than happy to sweep the uneasy topic under the rug.

Of course my childish mind tried to rationalize the situation: My mother had gone on a spur-of-the-moment extended mission. Yes…that must've been it! She left us to do a mission, that much was a known fact, and she had to extend it due to…complications.

I stuck with that story for the longest time if only for a little bit of consolation; something to ease the worry of not knowing and the dread building up in my heart.

As the days rolled by, it became harder to keep this delusion in perspective. It was like all record of her existence had been wiped out, like she had not even existed at all. Photos of her that had once adorned the walls of our hallway vanished one day, as if by magic. Her rose-scented clothes had been emptied out of her closet. And all her trinkets and little knickknacks that had once been strewn over the house were carefully, and individually, disposed of.

By then, it became clear that my mother hadn't gone on an extended mission at all; and if she had, her destination had been six feet day she was everywhere, and then next day she was gone.

"Listen to me, Hinata. I need your full compliance on this."

My father's voice snapped me out of my reverie. I couldn't believe it. He was literally_ asking_ me for my consent. All he had to do was bark an order and I would have to follow, because by nature, that was what I was: a follower. So it came as a genuine surprise to me that he'd even want to waste his breath to _ask_ when he could _command_ an order.

"Hinata?"

"W-What?"

He sighed, obviously annoyed by my abstracted look. "I was saying that I need your compliance on this."

"On what?"

I swear I could see a vein of frustration pop up on his temple. "On that…boy."

"Naruto?" Realization dawned on me then, and I felt a surge of protectiveness wash over me. "Before I agree to anything, I'd like to know what it entails." I chose my words very carefully.

He was putting on a show. That much I could tell. When we were alone, my father wasn't the type to say things like "please," or "thank you," He didn't kiss anyone's ass even if he had to. He got what he wanted through any means necessary, and that usually meant using coercion and force.

The only reason he bothered with the niceties with me was if we had an audience present. This time, we did: a whole row full of council members gauging our every move. When this happened, my father turned into an unrecognizable character before me, and what I like to call the doting-father-mode.

Everyone could see through his act. It wasn't exactly a secret that he was cruel and downright harsh. His position required him to be; the position that I would eventually have to overtake. Even though his warm actions were obviously unnatural and contrived, I didn't know why he bothered, anyways. To be honest, that fake act of his was actually a little painful to watch.

First of all, I had to return his smile. (His inhuman smile with rows of jagged, sharp teeth.) And then I had to pretend like our relationship was always like this: always considerate of each other, always the ideal father-daughter relationship. Not like it was detached and alienated. No way.

But that was exactly what it was, in reality.

"You'd like to know what it entails," he repeated patronizingly. "I tell you the truth of how your mother died, and you decide to side with the enemy? What kind of daughter are you?"

"First of all, Naruto has nothing to do with any of this," I paused, hurt by his accusation that I dismissed the circumstances around mother's death. _What kind of daughter are you?_ "I know where my loyalties lie."

Do I? Do I really know what I stand up for? What I believe in? These thoughts unsettled me. I pushed them away.

I may not know who I was entirely, but I don't think anybody does. If we did, then there was no reason for existing at all. After all, wasn't our time on Earth supposed to be spent _finding_ those things that make us who we are?

So far, all I knew was that although an Uzumaki ninja had been involved around my mother's death, Naruto had no correlation with it whatsoever. He was as innocent of her death as I was. It didn't seem fair to somehow bundle him in the same group as that coward who had left my mother for dead.

Yes, he was an Uzumaki just like the coward. But of all people, I had first-hand experience knowing that blood does not necessarily bond people together. Yes, I was my father's spawn, but I never had his heart of steel. So if I wasn't anything like my father, why should I assume that Naruto was anything like that coward?

"And your loyalty lies with us. With your clan."

_No. My loyalty lies with myself._

"If you're to succeed me one day, this should already be ingrained in you." He didn't bother trying to act nice now. "Hinata, you must learn that the only people you can trust in this world is your family."

At the mention of the word _family_, he extended his arm forward, his wide sleeve dangling down and touching the table. It was a gesture. He was gesturing to the old, wizened-faces of the elders who were watching our exchange with curiosity.

I searched each face that looked so much alike. We may all have inherited certain physical characteristics, but I wasn't so sure that we had all inherited the same dispositions.

No. Besides Neji and Ko, the only family I had died a long time ago, in a forest, by herself, for a noble cause. These people weren't my family. They were simply strangers with an uncanny physical resemblance to me.

"Your family would never abandon you."

It was true that Neji and Ko would never abandon me. They'd both save my life on multiple occasions, primarily during risky missions. I knew that they would never abandon me and I sure as heck would never abandon them. I was sure of Neji and Ko. But I wasn't so sure about my father and the rest of my so-called _family_.

"Hinata, are you even listening to me?"

"I'm listening."

"Do whatever you need to do to gain Naruto's trust. Weed information out of him and report to me regularly with updates. You will do what I say. This matter is now closed."

_And what if I decide not to do what you have to say?_ But I didn't say this out loud. After all, it wasn't like I had any other choice.

○•○

Later, in the afternoon, I took a brief stroll around the compounds. I liked these solitary walks because it helped clear my mind and put me in a state in which I could actually_ think_. And I had a lot of thinking to do.

I kicked the dust from underneath my feet as I strolled along, passing shrubs and foliage that I normally didn't take notice of. The first thing visitors notice when they step into the Hyuuga compounds is its so-called classic beauty. With the abundance of cherry-blossom trees and the rustic buildings, it's hard not to stop and stare. But for someone who'd been raised here, the lustre and novelty of the environment fades with time, and eventually, things that had once seemed sublime, now seemed mundane.

A couple of the younger kids whizzed past me. A boy and a girl. Brother and sister. The girl was the older of the two, and slightly taller, as well. She chased after her younger brother with such unrestrained excitement that it brought a smile to my face.

They were playing. It was some sort of cat and mouse game where the objective was to catch the other player. The boy was squealing with terror as he kicked up his feet, running as fast as he could away from his pursuer. Unfortunately, he wasn't fast enough. With one swift leap, the girl toppled him over and restrained his thrashing body on the floor. Game over. He had been caught. The disappointment weighed down heavily on his face.

"Play again?" The girl asked, a triumphant grin curling her lips. She got up and dusted her skirt with one hand, and the other was extended towards the boy on the ground.

He took it and she pulled him up. "Okay, one more, and then let's go have a snack. I'm the cat!"

This time, it was the girl who squealed in terror, and I watched as she ran in the opposing direction, her glossy ponytail bouncing with each step. The boy was at a clear disadvantage with his short, stubby legs, but the growing distance didn't seem to discourage him one bit. He took off after her.

I kept my eye on them until they turned a corner and disappeared from view. They hadn't even noticed me standing there, watching them. Seeing them so carefree and playful made me miss the days where nothing seemed to matter except the present moment; where the future was way too long from The Now, and things like honor, duty, and discipline were foreign words to me.

"Hinata-sama?"

Startled, I turned around. I saw Neji standing under a cherry-blossom tree, hair falling down to his shoulders and blowing in the wind. He looked surprised when he saw my expression, but if he wanted to say something about it, he didn't.

"I am sorry to bother you. I know you like being alone during this time of the day, but I had to come and fetch you."

My suspicion heightened. "Fetch me for what exactly?"

"Well," Neji rubbed the back of his head and turned his face to the sun so that the rays hit his features at a jarring angle. "It seems like there's been an unexpected twist in the plan."

"Neji, what is it?" Leave it to Neji to speak in riddles.

"I know about your engagement with Naruto, and quite frankly, it is uncomfortable for me to think about it, let alone discuss it with you. I did not want to say anything about earlier because, well, I do not want to tell you how to live your life—"

"Neji, it's fine. Really, it's what I want." And that statement was literally the truth. I had never told anyone about my admiration and attraction for Naruto, so saying it out loud came off as a tad bit unbelievable. But it was the truth and I didn't care how anyone interpreted it.

For a minute, Neji wavered in his stance, obviously taken aback by what I said. He shook his head to clear off the shocked expression on his face. "I-I do not know what to say...but I will leave it for another time. Actually, I did not come here to discuss your engagement, I came here to show you something."

Curious, I followed him and found that I had no trouble keeping up with his long strides. We walked a long stoned pathway with stray clumps of grass popping up through the cracks. He led me to the front of compounds, at a vantage point in which I could see the wrought-iron gate of the entrance.

Confused, I turned to look at Neji, but he wasn't looking at me. He was looking straight ahead. I followed the direction of his gaze.

There was Naruto, bags over each shoulder and walking towards us. Tsunade was there, too, talking to my father who was actually returning her smile.

When Naruto saw us watching him, he grinned and waved. I had the sudden urge to hide behind Neji and peek through his side, but I forced myself to stay where I was. Naruto took our eye contact as an invitation to make small talk, and he walked over to us.

"Yo!" A huge smile erupted on his face. "What are you guys doing here?"

The question was directed to no one in particular, and since Neji didn't respond, I took it upon myself to answer. "N-Nothing. I was just wondering what those bags were for. They look heavy."

Naruto looked down at the brown bags hefted over shoulder. He patted the one with a generous _thump_. "Oh, you didn't know? Turns out Tsunade-baachan has arranged this thing where we live at each other's residence for a certain period of time. She said something about 'learning from each other's culture' and whatnot. Since were, you know, uh, engaged and all." He stared at the floor, looking a bit sheepish.

My jaw dropped. Disbelief flooded me. I had only to look up at Neji's pissed off face to know that Naruto was telling the truth. This wasn't a joke. At least, I hoped it wasn't. I even went so far as to pinch my wrist just to make sure I wasn't dreaming.

Then my gaze fell on my father, a distant figure behind Naruto. He was still talking to the Fifth, engaged in what looked like an animated conversation. He looked pleased with the situation, even looking over his shoulder to give both Neji and I a small smile.

I shivered. Beside me, I felt Neji tense in response.

Of course this would make my father happy. To him, this was a fortuitous change of events, indeed. He'd be able to keep a closer eye not only on me, but on Naruto as well. This way, he'd make sure that I was fulfilling my end of the bargain. It was perfect. Like killing two birds with one stone.

As far as my father was concerned, everything was going as planned, and maybe even better.

"You're not kidding, right?" Even though I knew he wasn't kidding, I couldn't stop myself from blurting out my incredulity.

Naruto pressed his lips together in a half-smile. "Nope, I'm here to stay…unless you don't want me?"

"No! I mean—I mean, we'd be glad to have you! Right, Neji?" My smile faltered when I saw Neji's grim face. He didn't seem to be pleased.

Nonetheless, Neji indulged me. "Right."

○•○

When Tsunade left, Neji led Naruto inside the largest building in the compounds. The only unoccupied room was in the Main Family's house, so it was decided that the room would be emptied and cleaned so that Naruto could eventually inhabit it.

I didn't really need to be there but I wanted to be present anyways, so I tagged along. I tried my best to hide my excitement. Naruto had made his expectation of our relationship explicitly clear, and love was definitely out of the picture. But still, a girl can dream, can't she?

I was probably smiling like a baboon because Neji shot me a questioning look over his shoulder once we crossed the threshold. We took off our shoes (a customary practice), and walked in a single file down the narrow hallway.

Naruto's head kept swiveling around, taking in his new surroundings with childish curiosity.

"It's a little old," I said a little timidly, walking behind him. "The buildings are at least two-hundred-years-old."

"No, the whole place is really cool, actually." He touched a vase propped up on a small column. It was an antique supposedly from the Edo period, and crafted by the emperor's best artist at the time. Natural scenery was a popular art form back then so the vase depicted scenes of birds flying over trees, and rivers flowing over scraggly rocks.

I gushed a bit internally. I was glad he thought our house was cool. I didn't want to admit it, but I was afraid he wouldn't like it here. _Here, _as in such a quaint residence with nothing exciting to offer but trees and scenery as its surroundings. I knew that the Uzumaki residence was pretty modern, so I didn't want him to feel like he was regressing in time to some sort of primitive living.

"It's fine, you don't have to force yourself to compliment it," I muttered, even though I knew he meant every word he said.

Neji cleared his throat audibly, and I blushed. I forgot that he wasn't even there.

"Right." I tore my gaze away from Naruto. "Let's get to your room."

Neji walked on ahead. I was last in the line. With the Byakugan's almost 360-degree vision range, I knew that Neji was watching us. He made it obvious that he didn't like Naruto, and he especially didn't like it when I interacted with obnoxious blonde ninja.

I seriously loved Neji. But sometimes, in the matters of love, Neji could be so obtrusive. He acted like my elder brother and I had no problem with that—I even liked it—but he didn't realize that he was sheltering me, and that was the last thing I needed in my already sheltered life.

(She's lead such a sheltered life so far, and that is something I regret giving her.)

With Neji furtively watching me, I had to content myself with planting my gaze at the back of Naruto's head. During our short trip, it occurred to me that Naruto seemed to ruffle his hair more often than I noticed. He ran a hand through it almost every other minute, spiking up his already spiky blonde hair. I took it as a nervous habit.

Everyone has a nervous habit, whether they're conscious of it or not. It's like how some people's hands shake or stutter when they're forced to give a speech to the whole class. I guess Naruto's nervous habit was playing with his hair. I kind of liked it.

"This is it," Neji announced, still not turning around.

He stopped abruptly, which lead to Naruto bumping into him, which in turn lead _me_ to bump into Naruto.

"What the heck, Neji?" Naruto whined, rubbing his forehead petulantly. A red mark spanned his forehead.

"Oh god," I said, looking at my hands stained with blood.

Great. Of all times, fate just had to play a cruel joke on me now.

This time, it was Neji who turned around, and when he saw me, his eyes went wide with concern. "Hinata-sama…your nose."

But Naruto was already ruffling through his pockets and pulling out a blue-patterned handkerchief. He extended it towards me carefully, as if he wasn't quite of what he was doing himself.

I took the cloth gratefully and blew my nose in it. "Thanks," I said, but it came out as _fanks. "_Uhm, do you want it back? The handkerchief, I mean, I'll wash it obviously." _  
_

He shook his head furiously. "No, no. You keep it." When he saw my embarrassed expression he continued on hurriedly, "It's fine, I get nosebleeds all the time, too."

Waves of shame washed over me and I felt like curling into a ball and not getting up for a long time. I didn't know what to be more embarrassed about: the fact that my nose erupted in a fountain of blood in front of my crush, or the fact that my crush thought that this kind of thing happened regularly.

This was _so_ not the way impression I wanted to make on our fledgling relationship.

"Uh, so here's your room," I said through the handkerchief, but it came out as _so heews yo' woom. _

I was mortified. But Naruto nodded and smiled as if my gibberish made absolute perfect sense to him.

Neji opened the door. The door opened in an audible creak. Its hinges were rusting due to disuse, and we were greeted with the faint smell of musk as we stepped in.

I took the sight in. Whoever cleaned the room, they had done a pretty good job. The wall stains that I remembered had been scrubbed clean, leaving a shining white wall behind. The brown mat flooring had been dusted carefully, so much so that no lint was visible to the naked eye. The bed was made and I saw some furniture already established, with a desk beside the bed, and a small coat rack in the corner. It was sparse, yes, but it looked homier than I expected.

"Wow, this bedoom is great." Naruto smiled admiringly at the surroundings. He let his bags fall in an unceremonious crash to the ground. "I can't believe no one's lived in here before."

I shifted uncomfortably in my stance. Thankfully, my nose had stopped bleeding, but it was still a little difficult to breath. I could feel Neji's discomfort as well, and I knew he wasn't going to say anything about the room unless I asked him to myself.

I told myself that Naruto didn't need to know. If anything, it would just make things awkward, but I couldn't stop the words from tumbling from my mouth. "Actually," I began, "this was supposed to be a room for my younger sibling."

"Oh, I didn't know you had a younger sibling, Hinata. Can I meet him…or her, sometime?"

"Well, that would be a little hard to do, seeing as I _don't _have one." I saw confusion in his eyes and rushed on, "Sorry, I should have made this clearer. This room was supposed to be for the sibling that I never had."

"Oh."

"My parents always wanted to have a second child." _Especially since they found out I was incompetent. _"So they built this room, and waited. But it never happened. I guess I was their first and only." _And unwanted. _

(A familiar masculine voice echoed in the back of my mind: You'll never amount to anything, Hinata. Get up. Stop it. Stop crying right now or I'll—)

"I don't know what to say. I'm sorry."

His apology caught me by surprise. There wasn't anything in particular that he should've been apologizing for. "You don't have to apologize. It's not really a bad thing. Besides, Neji is like my brother, so I do have a sibling in a way."

I forced myself to laugh. But I got the feeling that Naruto wasn't apologizing for my parents' failed conception; he was apologizing because he understood something in the tone of my voice that I tried so hard to conceal. His eyes told me that he knew what it felt like to be the unwanted choice.

I bristled. My knees threatened to give out at any moment. "A-Anyways, we should leave you to unpack."

I ran out the room without looking behind me. Neji started after me but I lost him in the labyrinth of the hallways.

"Hina-" someone called out from behind me, but I didn't turn back.

I_ needed_ to get away from there. I needed to distance myself from him. I needed to put as much distance between myself and this obnoxious blonde boy as fast as possible.

I don't know how long I ran for, but it occurred to me that I was outside, in the setting sun, and I was out of breath. I paused and placed my hands on my thighs, sucking in the air from the atmosphere with such vigor as if I had never breathed before.

I was shaking all over, and goose bumps started to prickle my skin. It was his clear blue eyes. His piercing gaze that seemed to be boring holes into my skin that undid me. I had never felt more vulnerable and naked in my whole entire life.

It felt like every dark secret that I had tried to hide from even myself, was suddenly exposed, out in the open, waiting for him to read. Like all my insecurities became tangible things for him to hold up to his eyes and marvel at.

Who was this boy? And what was he doing to me?

* * *

**A/N: So I have this funny story which involves me writing and finishing this chapter, and closing my laptop after a job well done, only to open it again the next morning to realize I didn't save my work.**

***crawls into a ball and cries, cries heavily***

**Lol, talk about first world problems. **

**But being the inexorable trooper I am, I plopped my ass down on that chair and retyped the whole thing in what resulted in this. So, here it is, and I hope you like it. **


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